


To protect and desire

by Superfanwoman



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Music, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anxious Castiel, Blame the musk, Bodyguard Castiel (Supernatural), Bottom Castiel, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean, Coming Out, Destiel - Freeform, Destiel Daily Drabble, Destiel Day, Dirty Dancing, Flirty Dean Winchester, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, Grinding, M/M, Making Out, Musician Castiel, Musician Dean Winchester, Oral Sex, Recreational Drug Use, Rockstar Dean, Romance, Sassy Castiel, Tattooed Dean, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Top Dean, casdean - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2018-12-31 04:22:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12124413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superfanwoman/pseuds/Superfanwoman
Summary: Los Angeles based Songwriter Cas works as security for his day job. When he is assigned to work as a bodyguard for his ultimate rockstar crush, Dean Winchester, Cas thinks he may totally lose it. But when Dean begins showing interest, Cas is the one thanking his guardian angels.





	1. Winchester Bros

**Author's Note:**

> This Destiel smutty romance will have a few chapters so make sure to bookmark it! Wrote this for CastielsHoney! Please feel free to write comments if you like it, they keep me going!

“My palms. Are literally. Sweating. God damn it,” Cas mutters to himself, wiping his hands on his thighs, or rather, the thighs of his lovely black, Italian (looking) work suit. He takes a deep calming breath and checks himself out in the full length mirror of his master bedroom, straightening his collar. You've been security for Beyonce, for Christ sakes, get yourself together, he self-reminds. 

The truth is, Cas has been security for Beyonce, Cher, and even the Backstreet boys, musicians most gay men would kill to spend time with, let alone be paid handsomely to do so. But pop has never been Cas’ favorite type of music, ever since high school he'd been a bit of a rocker, whether the rock be soft or heavy, classic or alternative. It's what inspired him to be a songwriter, a halfway decent one or enough so to have sold songs to several popular artists but, in between sales, he does bodyguard and security work to keep up with the mortgage on his beautiful Westwood condo. 

He enjoys it most of the time, and chuckles quietly to himself now, realizing he's never gotten this worked up over a client before. He shakes his head, telling himself to just get over it. He grabs a few necessities and heads out the door, hopping a little too jubilantly into his silver bmw coupe. The car may be leased, but screams 'gay!’ all the same, unlike Cas himself, who typically flies under the gaydar. The radio blares as Cas starts the car, blushing as the Winchester Brothers themselves begin blasting from the speakers.

“Of fucking course they'd be the first thing I hear today!” He groans, while secretly enjoying the irony, pulling out of the carpark and onto the streets of Los Angeles.

The band in question, the Winchester Bros, happen to be the artist Cas has been hired to do security for this weekend as they play two shows Friday and Saturday nights at the Hollywood Bowl. Cas had been listening to the brothers for years, first, as a guilty pleasure as they fronted one of the most popular boy bands of the late 90’s, 'The Naturals,’ but especially now. Sam and Dean Winchester had broken apart from the pop group in 2004 and had since grown up to be bonefide, world famous rock stars in their own right. The teen girls that had the brothers’ perfect faces plastered on their bedroom walls were now grown women whose husband agreed to attend the concerts because, the truth is, the Winchester pretty boys really do rock. Even their ballads are good. 

Dean Winchester is not a golden God, Cas tries to convince himself through an entire interstate traffic jam, He's just a normal guy, a songwriter like me. I don't have a crush on him, it was just a phase… Cas groans. Who am I kidding? Just try and play it cool.

Play it cool, play it cool, Cas repeats to himself as he pulls into the security area behind the arena, flashing his company's badge to the guard. He straightens his tie, parks his beamer, and is guided to the backstage area to meet his supervisor and fellow bodyguard for the weekend, Bobby Singer. 

“Cas, my man!” Bobby greets him jovially, “When was the last time we worked a gig together?” 

“When was the last time you got out from behind that desk?” Cas laughs and claps his old friend on the shoulder.

“Too long,” Bobby smiles, “So I talked to the tour manager. They want separate security for the two lead singers, then a couple guys on the front lines. He pulls his phone from his pocket to review his notes, “The guys are named, uh, Sam and Dean. Dean is lead guitar, he's setup stage left. You'll be on him, alright?”

Cas chokes violently on the hot air in his lungs, grasping to loosen his tie just a little. Bobby gives his back a few slaps.

“You're not alright, did you swallow a bug?” Bobby asks, a mixture of confusion and concern in his voice.

“No, no, I'm fine,” Cas regains his composure, “Let's go.”


	2. I'm with the band

In the large, cushy greenroom backstage, the younger Winchester lets out a loud burst of infectious laughter, pulling his new fiancé onto his lap. His older brother Dean smiles and continues tuning his favorite guitar, the one he won't let any roadie touch. He's genuinely happy for Sam and Sarah, but can't help feeling a little sorry for himself. Even if he was a 37 year old sought after bachelor by choice, it still got lonely sometimes. 

“Did I tell you this is the first place I saw The Naturals, Dean?” Sarah asks, hands carding through Sam's hair. 

“It was 2001, you got your braces stuck in your boyfriend's sweater during the opening act but you weren't that upset, you were too distracted by how beautiful my big moose of a brother was, you wanted to get backstage but your lame ass boyfriend-”

“Okay, I get it, you know the story!” Sarah states, throwing a redvine in the general direction of Dean's head.

“Be nice,” Sam reminds him. He shakes his head and turns back to his fiance, one arm around her waist while his free hand runs through her glossy, dark hair. He is absolutely head over heels.

“I'm always nice,” Dean replies, blowing kisses the happy couples’ way. “And I'm nothing if not a great listener.”

The truth is, Dean does love Sarah and knows she's great for Sam, it just had taken a while for him to believe she was the real deal. After all, she was an original Naturals fangirl, and the brothers had hooked up with so many of those fans over the years, the idea of actually marrying one was kind of absurd. But Sarah had won Dean over, as well as Sam of course, with her sharp, sassy wit and intelligence that made both brothers look, at times, like uneducated bafoons. She was no airhead fangirl, and she made Sam ridiculously happy. Unfortunately for Dean, she also reminded him how badly he wanted something he rarely went for - a real relationship. The irony wasn't lost on him that while Sam had historically dated blondes, she happened to have the dark hair and blue eyes that made her exactly Dean's type, in women and in men.

The rest of the band files into the room and Sarah bolts from Sam's lap to greet them with big hugs. The Winchesters, after breaking away from their boy band, had decided back in 2006 to make their backing band all women on a whim, and it had turned out to be the best idea they'd ever had. While Dean played lead and Sam rhythm guitar, their band supported them with pure talent. Jodie on bass, Charlie on drums, and Donna on keys.

“Praise you, Deano,” Donna says, smooching Dean on the forehead.

“What'd I do this time?” He asks, bewildered.

“Requesting cuter security this time! You said you would!” 

“Donna, that was a joke, but I'm glad for you it happened naturally,” Dean chuckles.

“Be glad for yourself too, one of them is totally your type, darlin,” Jodie smirks at Dean. He just shakes his head but silently reminds himself to check out tonight's security.

The people in the room now were some of the only people that knew Dean was bisexual. You would've thought he sold his soul to keep it out of the headlines, but he just had great management. After over 15 years of keeping the secret, though, it was getting tiring for Dean. Especially when he thought about getting serious with someone that isn't a woman, and the fact that the last three people he'd dated were men. Sneaking around behind closed doors had definitely gotten old. And possibly gotten in the way of him finding something real… someone real.

“You boys decent?” The Winchesters’ manager croons from the other side of the door.

“Boys and girls. We're as decent as we're gonna get, now get in here Crowley!” Charlie shouts.

“Oh good, you're all here. Even you,” Crowley adds, looking at Sarah like a rogue groupie had snuck in on her own accord. Sarah frowns and Sam kisses her on the ear.

“What do you want, Crowley?” Dean Gruffs to his long time manager, with whom he's always had a love/hate relationship.

“Just here to introduce you to your security team for the weekend. They will be in the wings, stage left for Squirrel, right for the Moose. Girls, you can fend for yourselves right?” Crowley is the only one who laughs at the non joke. “Kidding, here they are ladies” 

Crowley brings in two security guards to meet the band, then Bobby and Cas follow them in. Sam stands to shake hands with Bobby, the shaggy haired brother sharing with him stories of crazed fans rushing him on stage. 

Cas attempts to settle his shaking hand as he outstretches it to Dean. The rocker is so, so much more beautiful in person, something Cas didn't think was humanly possible. He momentarily forgets how to speak when Dean's pink lips crack into that perfect chesire grin and Cas can't help but speak now. “Nice to meet you, my name is Cas. I'll be your security detail this weekend.”

Dean tries not to grin, but damn, his security is always so serious! This one, though, is so his type it hurts. He's gorgeous, and those blues eyes. Dean notes he's not the big, bulky, boring type he usually has for security. He imagines running his hands through that dark hair, running his tongue over those chapped lips. Uh oh! Here comes the shit eating grin!

Dean's hand wraps around Cas’ and he introduces himself, then claps Cas on the shoulder, “Loosen up a little Cas. This weekend's gonna be fun.”


	3. Blonde addiction

Sometimes Dean Winchester misses the palm sweating, mutant butterflies in the solar plexus, soul shaking pre-concert jitters. For the first several years of his career, the nerves would light up every cell in his body, the rush of screaming fans mixed with his nerves would create a natural cocktail too powerful to ignore. 

As that feeling faded, he began chasing the elusive high with pastel pills, one night stands, and the rush of an inked needle on skin. Now, he was too old for party pills and hasty hook-ups alike. His skin was no longer a blank canvas but rather, a patchwork quilt of his life in vivid technicolor. The feeling was back - stale, stagnant, a consuming desire to feel alive again.

Three years ago, he thought he'd found a cure - an engagement to an actress who was as beautiful as she was popular. The engagement and subsequent breakup gave him equal amounts of that nerve tingling, life force energy. But then it faded. Two years ago, he thought he'd found the answer again… a reality show covering the lives of his brother and himself. He hated that more than the lifeless feeling, that hole he was trying to fill, so that was the end to that. Last year, he thought his soul was on fire about writing a memoir. Turns out, the last thing he was ready to do was bare his soul to the world.

Dean steps out on the sprawling stage, guitar in hand. A sly smile curls on his lips. It's the only place he feels like he's home. The crowd was absolutely electric. Of course, to Dean, amongst all the excitement, the faces, the noise of so many beautiful fans… he still feels that missing something.

Sam can't help it. He grins as he comes out on stage to some of the loudest cheers from an audience, just about ever. He flips his hair out of his eyes and slings his guitar over his shoulder, looking appreciatively at every member of his band. When his eyes stop on his brother, he knows exactly what Dean needs to feel whole. That's how he feels now that he has Sarah. He hopes Dean can find that kind of happiness. He really does deserve it.

Cas stands in the wings in his typical straight laced power stance. Feet firmly planted, posture impeccable, face stoic. But inside….he was a fangirl on fire. Standing just feet from Dean Winchester, he was flying, given the gift to stare at this beautiful man for hours and get paid for it. Cas thanks any God that will listen that he didn't quit this job last month like he was planning to. This gig makes up for all of it, and yes, he's still annoyed he isn't making it soley as a musician, but this is more than just a cherry on top of a decent paying job...this makes up for all the long hours and thankless nights going home alone, watching other artists receive the recognition, sometimes even for songs he'd written.

Cas swears that, as Dean swings his guitar over his shoulder, he looks at Cas with a smile so seductive that Cas’ knees feel weak. Dean thanks the crowd and the band starts of with one of their biggest songs. Cas wonders how he can be expected to protect someone so powerful and confident. Someone that makes him weak in the knees. Cas prays for an uneventful concert, so he doesn't have to do anything but stare in awe.

The band starts playing but Dean talks over the intro like he occasionally does when a thought pops into his head, “This song feels like a million years away but it also kinda doesn't… My brother and I had our hearts broken by blondes around the same time, we wrote this licking our wounds, with our tails between our legs...Damn if it's not a good memory now.” He plays the familiar chords to, “Blonde ambition/blonde addiction,” which was a huge hit about 10 years ago. The crowd is in bliss, so is Cas… until he thinks about the lyrics a little more. 

Sam and Dean wrote this about the women in their lives, Cas thinks, there's no way Dean isn't straight. He tries not to pout, stuck in his negative thoughts now. He decides he's just being realistic, thinking, you must have imagined that smile! Maybe it wasn't meant for me! There's no way this all American alpha male could want me…

Dean sings, wondering how he could get nostalgic over this song, they wrote it a week after they got dumped, him by Jo and Sam by Jessica. The brothers thought they may die of their pride being smashed to bits back then.“You think you've got a plan, you don't even want a man…” the song hints at what Crowley had made sure never got out in the media. Jo and Jessica had left the brothers for each other.

Dean shakes his head at the memory...glad it no longer stings. Something...or was it someone? Kept catching him from the corner of his eye. That security! What was his name? Dean tries and fails not to look again. Cas! His name is Cas… The song ends and the crowd erupts...Dean sneaks a glance at the oh so serious brunette watching him from the wings. He can't help it, all the teeth break loose, Dean is grinning at him from ear to ear, flashing those whites gleaming under stage lights. Damn is he fine, the baby blues, that tight little ass! Dean knew he was a goner.


	4. It's my job

You see through me like a ghost  
As I chase you down the coast  
The power you have over me  
It isn't natural, you see  
I need you… I need you…  
It's supernatural…

Cas isn't working. Not right now. He's in complete and utter Nirvana. Dean Fucking Winchester, cover of the Rolling Stone multiple times Dean F’n Winchester has smiled at him. 4 freaking times since the concert began. Cas loves this song, and imagines now, but not for the first time, that Dean was singing this to him. About him. Not that he'd admit that to anyone.   
And for the first time ever, that fantasy could maybe become a reality. 5 times! 5 fucking times he's looked at him and smiled like he's starving and Cas is a 5 star feast. He could not make this shit up if he tried.

He's bi! Man I was right all those years! He likes guys… damn it! He likes me doesn't he?! Fuck!

Cas’ mind is spinning a million miles a minute, straight through the last encore song when Bobby chirps in his ear via earpiece.

“Lead the band down corridor A the second their done, meet and greet will last approx 20 minutes and proximity to the lead singer should be no less than 6 feet at all times.”

Now that Cas could do.

The crowd is still thick with applause when the band leaves their instruments onstage and walk off to guzzle water. Cas, two other security, and three event staff lead them down to the meet and greet area as soon as they're done. Sam has his giantic arms wrapped around all three female members of their band, whispering joyous compliments to them in the soul-warming way only Sam could. 

Dean smirks as Cas walks just two feet behind. “Gonna protect us from the crazies?” Dean asks over his shoulder.

Everything about Cas is on fire. But he remains some version of calm. “That's my job.” He wants so badly to see Dean's face during this exchange but they're moving at a rather rushed pace. 

“Not taking your eyes off the lead singer, even for a second… also in your job description?”

Cas flushes magenta, glad Dean isn't looking at him, and replies, “Of course. I'm assigned to you this weekend, Dean...this weekend's job’s biggest perk.”

Dean whips his head around to look at Cas, see if he heard that right. Cas’ face remains stoic but his eyes flash wildly with admiration and desire he is hopeless to hide. Dean bites his lip to keep from grinning. They pass personnel preparing to manage an incoming line of fans with backstage passes. Crowley appears out of nowhere and says, “I'm holding them off for a few. You all look like to need a breath.”

He gestures to the long table, each chair in front of it has a different cocktail that, unlike what an audience member can buy along with popcorn, looks delicious and expertly made. Donna, a Cadillac Margarita, Jodie, a Tom Collins, Charlie, a gin and tonic, Sam, a Manhattan, and Dean, an extra dirty vodka martini.

Sometimes, Dean thinks, Crowley isn't a total self-serving ass.

The band is flying so high they don't really need drinks but their throats are a desert so they knock them down before the line even forms and they're quickly replaced with bottles of water. Dean tries to keep his eyes off of Cas, too tempting, too distracting. He tries to focus on his band, his family, immediately to his left, Sam, and on his right, Charlie….rather that handsome brunette security standing just inches from Sam. 

“Our life doesn't suck,” Sam chuckles, secretly wishing Sarah could be with them at this moment, rather than waiting in the green room. He didn't want to spend another second without her. It was a connection, the depth of which niether of the brothers had ever before known. Dean squeezes his brother's shoulder, the buzz from the show and the idea of spending the night with the blue eyed hot security intoxicating him from head to toe. 

“Our life is fucking great, Sammy,” he replies.

Charlie's lips upturn, “fucking fantastic!” She vehemently agrees.

Cas tries to watch the line of fans forming rather than what he's been doing the last 2 hours, staring at the most beautiful man that's probably existed ever. A small woman with a headset and a clipboard gives him a nod and let's the first three people through to meet the band. His eyes skim over each fan, noting the excitement in their eyes, making sure it's just that and not, ya know, crazy eyes. More fans in, filtering out...in and then headed home to figure out what the hell just happened. The Winchesters’ had a particular aura about them, this charm, this… musk. It leaves fans dazed and a little confused, in a good way. A very good way.

The band is probably exhausted but they don't show it, they're kind to each and every fan. His eyes wander to Dean and he purposefully looks at the other band members instead. He watches Charlie's eyes grow enormous, saucer sized and full of surprise. Not the good kind. The brothers instantly puff up their chests in a protective kind of way, Donna and Jodie's jaws hanging slack.

What Cas can quickly ascertain is that this person standing in front of Charlie, this drop dead gorgeous Amazon blonde, is not wearing a pass and no one has any idea how she got back here. Venue personnel start to notice and whisper on their headsets. She's clearly known to the band as a threat, and Cas’ body shifts , akin to a tiger ready to pounce, hovering closer now to the woman standing in front of Charlie. What he doesn't know is that the woman standing only a 3 foot wide table distance away from Charlie is her ex, the one she has a 100 foot restraining order against. 

Charlie attempts to remain calm, “Amber, you cannot be here right now,” she explains the obvious. “I'm not going to ask how you got back here, but…” her voice waivers, “I need you to leave now.”

Dean’s hand rests on Charlie's shoulder now. His eyes flit to Cas and Cas gives him a nod. He's on it, if this blonde even moves a muscle. He chirps to Bobby, who appears almost instantly for backup, if needed, then decides to quietly call for an active officer on site to join them immediately. Crowley attempts to move the rest of the waiting fans away so this exchange doesn't go viral.

This ex, Amber, is fidgety and...the eyes. Cas knew, those were crazy eyes if he'd ever seen them. Cas inches closer as Amber rants to Charlie about how she can't stand to never see her again, that they're meant to be together. Charlie tries to shut it down but even she can't control this amount of crazy.

“But we need to be together,” Amber retorts, “I need you. And right now, I can't even call you!”

She goes to pull something out of her pocket and Cas can't help but respond, even though he's about 90% sure it's just her phone after her last comment. He lunges at her, grabbing both arms and sweeping her away from the band in an instant, eying the officer for an assist. The object clatters to the ground.

The band doesn't take a single breath until Amber is cuffed, where they then release a collective sigh of relief. Except for Charlie. Her eyes are wide, frozen in shock. Jodie and Donna lean forward tentatively to see what Amber dropped.

Sam hugs Charlie and Dean pops up, his jaw tight as he spots the small switchblade, scooping it up and hastily stashing it in his pocket, but he's pretty sure his redhead surrogate sister already saw it. This wasn't the first time Charlie's ex had threatened her, and Dean sighs, knowing he can only do so much to protect her. Yeah, so far Amber has only been full of empty threats, never actually hurt her, but that doesn't make him feel any better. He spots Cas and can't help but walk over to him, out of earshot from his band.

“I don't know how to thank you,” he says, putting a hand on Cas’ shoulder.

“Dean, you don't have to-”

“I do- I mean, I want to. Thank you man. Charlie, she's… she's my sister, ya know?”

Cas nods. “Of course. I- I really wasn't expecting her to have a weapon, I just wanted to err on the side of caution. I'm glad I did.”

“Fucking crazy girlfriends, am I right?”

Cas shakes his head with a barely there smile to agree nonchalantly... but his flushed cheeks give him away.

Wait… Has this guy seriously not dated chicks? Dean is rather baffled. He could tell this guy was gay but… what do they call that? A gold star gay? Actually, he's a little impressed.

“I - we - we need to thank you... to take you out with us. Tonight. Please?”

Cas stands, rather stunned, assumes he's heard Dean wrong and also senses Bobby approaching to debrief. At the same moment, Crowley walks up to Dean to tell him this meet and greet is officially over. His brother waves him over and Dean nods, looking back at Cas' with a grin and mouths “green room.”


	5. Light my fire

Cas paces back and forth in front of the green room door for a solid three minutes before harnessing the courage to turn the handle. Being inside doesn't make him feel much more at ease. The band is hovering around Charlie, assuring her safety, and he immediately feels like he's burst in on a family moment. The only head that pops up to see who's there is Dean, green eyes sparkling as he sees Cas standing there, cheeks pink, loosening his tie and smiling at him sheepishly.

“Hey man! I'm glad you came,” Dean walks over, clapping a hand on Cas’ shoulder once again. Cas wishes he would never remove it, and thankfully, it lingers. He's shed his leather jacket and wears only a tight black T-shirt that shows sleeves of a different nature. Cas swallows hard and tries to peel his eyes off the beautiful ink covering Dean's arms, even though he wishes to memorize every shape, every color.

Cas is torn between wanting so much to stay but feeling like maybe he should leave, “I feel like I'm intruding, actually. Maybe I should…”

“Dean, the girls are taking Charlie home and I-oh! Sorry,” Sam's face shows his embarrassment as he realizes he's butting in.

“No worries,” Cas smiles warmly at Dean's giant little brother. Sam outstretches his hand to Cas, shaking it with that gentle firmness that is just so Sam, thanking him for helping at the meet and greet.

It dawns on Dean that if Charlie goes home, the girls will stay with her. “You mean they're not coming to the Whiskey? It's a tradition, Sammy!”

“You know she's too..shaken up...and she needs the girls. And Sarah is actually getting a migraine and I might, uh, need to take her home too.”

“Et tu, Brute?” Dean throws a hand over his heart for added drama.

Sam shakes his head, trying to ignore his brother, turning to Cas instead. Dean had mentioned to him on the way back that he had a bit of a 'crush’ and surprisingly, Sam approves. “Sorry, I'm sure you had plans already? Or could you possibly help me out? Keep my needy brother company tonight?”

Cas coughs, eyes wide, choking on the possibility of what tonight could entail. A night alone with Dean Winchester? Could he be so lucky? And so... terrified?

“I think I could be... up for the job,” Cas smirks, regaining his cool just in time. It's Dean's turn to choke on nothing, Sam chuckles and thanks Cas, complete with a squeeze on the shoulder.

Sam wanders to a large leather sofa and peels his fiance off of it. Guess she really isn't feeling well. The rest of the band says their goodbyes, apologizing for breaking their tradition. 

Dean pouts but his eyes are smiling. “You're missing out!” Dean adds as they leave with their things, “At least I know the boys won't let me down!”

The very moment his band is out the door, a different band files in, hair and...is that makeup? Like something from an 80’s hair and nightmare, only done ironically, or one would hope. These are the boys Dean spoke of. Cas pouts internally, thinking his night alone with Dean is dashed but quickly assertains that these boys are more about the party than keeping Dean company and Cas smiles at that fact.

Dean says each of their names for Cas, but the only one he remembers is the lead singer, Ash, because Dean introduces him as his best friend, and since the band was The Winchester Bros opening band, he'd heard Ash's unmistakable rock falsetto echoing through the entire ampitheater. The band slugs down shots of tequila and they're surprised when Dean turns them down, “You know I gotta drive Baby!” But the truth was, he wanted to be alone with this Cas. Once they got to the Go Go, though, drinks would be had. The guys brush him off, murmuring comments about Dean's obsession with Baby.

“Baby?” Cas asks curiously.

Dean's lips curl and his mouth moves to Cas’ ear, “Would you like to come...see her?” Every part of Cas’ body has gone electric...live wire.

Cas lowers his voice, “Please tell me that's a car and not a woman…”

“See you at the bar!” Dean shouts to the guys with a wave, grabs his leather jacket with one hand, the other grabbing Cas’ forearm, dragging him out the door.

When Cas follows Dean down the last corridor and out the last door, the warm night air greets them along with a deep rumble of a finely tuned 1960’s engine. The night is dark but the lights shine off the flawless black paint, Dean's chest puffed, eyes full of pride. The driver's door opens and a young man exits the car, positively giddy. Dean smiles back and slyly slips him some cash. Cas is in awe, not just of the car...well, mainly the car, but all of it really. When did Dean even call the valet? Dean's saunter as he walks around to open the passenger side door for Cas. Seriously? The last thing Cas wants right now is a 'Pretty Woman Moment’ but fears this may be it. Does he really deserve all this? To be here, in Dean fucking Winchester's car? How the hell does the leather still smell so good? Cas wonders, This car is older than me!

Dean looks at him silently, his glinting peridot eyes shaded in the dark car, teeth bared once again in a salacious grin as his foot hits the gas. He pulls out of the parking lot with reckless abandon, and Cas is already wishing this was longer than a 15 minute drive.

“Having you join me really took the sting off my band ditching me and all...thanks man,” Dean says, catching glimpses of Cas whenever he can while still keeping his eyes on the road. 

“Trust me, the pleasure is all mine.”

Dean chuckles, “Doubt that.”

Cas can't keep the fucking smile off his face. Dean can physically feel the heat from Cas, at this distance, and wonders how he'd feel up close, a raging inferno perhaps? He needs to find out.

“What I said to you earlier... about crazy ex girlfriends?”

“Hmm?” Cas responds, broken away from his blissful delirium.

“It was like you'd never…” Dean clears his throat. He knows he's being nosy AF. “Do you um, have like, a gold star?”

The boisterous laughter that falls from Cas’ mouth is the loudest Dean's seen from him all night, he can't help but smile and chuckle in response. Cas has never had that question asked of him in that particular way, and finds it adorable yet hilarious.

“I'm sorry, I'm uh…”

“Nosy as hell?” Cas laughs.

“Yup...so then...uh?” Dean loves how much this amuses the dark haired man. He's such a damn mystery.

Cas nods, “Have I earned a gold star? I believe I have… In fact, I think I have enough gold stars to earn my reward now…I'm waiting...”

Dean has to pick his jaw up off the Impala floor. Cas can't stop...can grown ass men giggle? Because that's what he's doing.

What Dean wants to say is that he has no idea how one person can arouse him so much without a single touch. But he thinks that may be too forward. Not that it really matters, because he'll be riding him later, that's for damn sure.

“A reward? Oh I'll think of something. Trust me, just you wait.”

Cas smirks at Dean's answer. Then his blue eyes grow wide in response to the song that switches on the radio. A pop rock song that'd been hanging on the charts for weeks. Dean starts tapping the steering wheel, humming along. A blush rises to the surface of Cas’ skin, not just his cheeks. All. His. Skin.

“Sorry, I, uh... She's kinda my guilty pleasure.”

“You don't have to apologize to me, Dean. I wouldn't even mind if you sang along.”

Dean takes it as a dare. His smile is infectious. He clears his throat roughly and turns up the volume on the old radio, sings a few lines and coughs, “Damn that's hard to sing...don't have much of a falsetto,” Dean shakes his head, apologizing as if he hasn't just sang all night for thousands of people. Cas had figured Dean would be that cocky, self centered rockstar that, it turns out, he most definitely is not. Cas thinks it's the singular cutest thing ever.

“Well I would've changed the key, brought it down a few, if I had written it for you instead of her.”

Dean cocks an eyebrow, “Wait...you wrote that?”

Cas nods, “that's the second song I wrote for her, her voice is beautiful but...yours is better. Even after singing your heart out all night.”

Dean is now the one that's flushed, he doesn't know what to say. He’s flattered as hell, trying to drive and figure Cas out at the same time, but it proves difficult. “You wrote this for her? You're a songwriter and… security is your nighttime day job?”

“You could say that,” Cas’ fingers hover over the dial, turning down the volume a bit. “Two for her, three for Kelly, one for Pink…”

The more Dean discovers, the more he desires. “So you write songs about guys and sell them to chicks?”

Cas nods and laughs some more. He's never laughed so much on a work night. Never had so much fun working either. “I swear, I bleed rock and roll but… girl singers like my stuff.”

“I can see why…” Dean has butterflies thinking about the words in the romantic song, all the love that Cas has to give. Fuck! Damn it all if he's not a musician too. Dean is completely screwed. “I like it too,” he smiles.

Cas feels high on the sound of Dean Winchester singing his lyrics. From Dean Winchester complimenting his writing. It's like he's floating. He doesn't quite know what he has said to Dean in response. They're already pulling into a parking spot. Cas peers at him with suspicious eyes. “How'd you get this spot?”

Dean just smirks, “I have my ways.”

At the Whiskey a go go, they're walking through the entrance right as Dean casually throws an arm around him, hand clapped on his shoulder. They walk like this the whole way to the bar, Cas totally speechless. How could a non-out rockstar get away with this pda? Takes Cas a minute to realize it could just be seen as 2 straight buddies drunkenly sharing friendship...a bromance perhaps?

Before ordering, Dean looks Cas up and down like he's observing a fine piece of art. Cas’ whole body ignites. “I'm thinking...Vodka guy?”

“Yes,” blushes Cas. Dean orders for them both and then leads him to a red vinyl booth upstairs that looks down at the expansive stage and packed house. A band has already started playing, loudly, which gives Dean the excuse to slide in next to Cas, clinking his Whiskey against Cas’ glass. Cas guzzles half his drink which is clearly a double at least, needing to get rid of this 'quiet Cas,’ because Cas isn't that shy guy, he really isn't. It's just that Dean... Does things to him...

Now Dean casually plants his palm on Cas’ thigh, Cas forgets momentarily how breathing is done. “You write on a piano?”

“Guitar, actually,” Cas replies.

“What's your favorite to play?” Dean asks, eyes sparkling. He's the one that just played a giant show, and yet he's the one interviewing Cas. It feels so comfortable to make Cas the center of attention, watching him blush, Dean finds it incredibly sexy. And the fact that Cas plays guitar? It sets him ablaze.

“I write on my Martin, it's newer, 17 series...when I want to play plugged in though… Now I know you're a Fender guy, but I have an obsession with my Les Paul sunburst, it's-”

“Like Jimmy Page?” Dean interrupts excitedly. He hasn't dated a musician in a very long time. Is this a date? He hopes Cas knows that it is. That Dean wants it to be one.

Cas' lips curl up, it's hard for him to stay calm, talking to Dean Winchester about guitars, especially with Dean's hand planted mere inches from his dick. It's hard to even think straight. “Yeah, it's a ‘59.”

“Fuck” Dean sighs. “Just like the one he bought-”

“From Joe Walsh in ‘69…” Cas finishes the thought. 

Dean can't believe his luck, who the hell else knows random Zeppelin instrument trivia?? Inside his head there's a giant neon sign saying 'Fuck it! Who cares? Just kiss him now!’ and knowing everyone's paying attention to the band on stage and not him, he actually moves in with the kiss as his intention… until he feels a rough tap on his shoulder followed by a loud, “party's arrived!”


	6. Wildest dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there's a chance Dean didn't technically write that song Back from Cali...it may have been Slash. But let's pretend! Also, there may a little drug usage... naughty boys!!

“Ash, hey,” Dean says weakly, then greets the rest of Ash's band as they slide into the booth. Cas’ hopes are dashed, but he doesn't have long to dwell on it when the attention of everyone at the table, himself included, is taken to the stage where the band begins playing some rather familiar chords. Of course, the band is covering one of the Winchesters’ greatest hits, as if this night couldn't get any more strangely serendipitous. Dean just smirks and shakes his head in response. He finds it pretty ironic considering no one here, in that band or otherwise even knows he's here. Flying under the radar is Dean's only way to fly.

Woke up this morning all alone  
I got a ringin' in my head  
I couldn't take it anymore today  
She left me here for dead

And it don't come as no surprise  
I should have known if from the start  
The lights are faded  
And I can't deny this place ain't got no heart

Got to leave this angel city  
I can't do it by myself  
So if you please  
Mama, can you save me  
Before I blow this life to hell

“Hey, they play it better than you!” One of Ash's bandmates hollers joking across the table. Cas' has no idea which one.

“Ha. Ha.” Dean replies, then goes back to watching the band. He whispers to Cas, “That guy is definitely better than me!”

Cas turns to Dean, full of sass, and puts his lips up to his ear, making sure to gently brush his lips against the sensitive skin, “Not. Even. Close.” This elicits a low rumble in Dean's throat, though no one can hear it because the whole place is singing along to the chorus Dean wrote several years ago, sitting on the hood of the Impala after a particularly rough month in the city of angels.

You'll have to carry me back from Cali  
I don't care if you think I'm to blame  
You'll have to carry me back to where I belong  
You'll have to carry me back from Cali  
The angel city where the devils play  
You'll have to carry me back to where I belong

Cas studies Dean, fascinated with the way Dean reacts to people responding to his music in such a visceral way, here and back at the ampitheater… or rather, how little Dean reacts. He acts like it's normal for throngs of people, thousands, sometimes, to hang on his every word, to recite from memory every word he's written. It's so commonplace for him now, he barely bats an eye. Cas is completely baffled. He doesn't think that's anything he could ever get used to, just the thought of it sends chills over his whole body.

“When I wrote this, I was strung out, chewed up and spit out… I was ready to crawl back to my mommy in Kansas,” Dean recalls to Cas, leaning in close. After all that complaining about the tradition of going to this bar, all Dean wants now is to get the hell out of it and into Cas.

Cas raises an eyebrow, “Would she have taken you back?”

Dean chuckles, “Hell yeah, my mom is awesome! Would've made my bed and baked me a pie, too… but then Crowley waved that contract in my face and that was the end of that.”

Cas nods, “Well I'm thinking everyone in that crowd tonight is damn glad you stayed.”

 

“Right now, I am damn glad too.” 

“Soooo... Winchester…” Ash vies for Dean's attention, never understanding why, when Dean could have his pick of practically any woman on earth, he'd ever choose dick instead. “Can I talk with you?” He asks, gesturing to a more private spot, a little alcove hidden in the corner of the venue’s second story.

“You can talk to us,” he replies, regarding Cas, and Ash shrugs, leading them over to the corner. 

“I know how important it is to you to hang out here tonight...and we can stay if you want, it's just that… a certain popstar that's in town from New York wants to party, and I managed to get my hands on something to help get that party started. She wants me Dean, I'm telling you!”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Uh huh, and this party starter, let me guess? X?”

“No actually…” Ash pulls out a tiny vial, the kind with a lid that has a teeny tiny spoon attached. “You want a little?”

“You know what I've said Ash, no more uppers! I don't think we're interested…” Dean answers, catching a grin creep up on Cas’ face. Cas instinctually covers his mouth with his hand but it's too late, Dean caught it.

“Oh! Wait, maybe we are?” Dean asks pointedly at Cas. This man continues to surprise him.

“No, no, I just...a lot of memories from my 20’s, dancing at clubs all night, fueled by lines…”

Dean speaks to Ash and opens his palm face up, but can't take his eyes off Cas, “Well, I think we're gonna take this then, just in case. And you get a free pass to ditch me. Just this once.”

Ash drops it in Dean's palm, offers a quick shoulder squeeze and an, “I love you, man,” before disappearing like a flash.

Dean slips the tiny coke vial in the pocket of his jeans and lightly places his hand on Cas’ chest. Cas feels his heart speed up faster than any drug could do. 

“Can I help you?” Cas smirks.

Dean bites his lip and Cas thinks his heart can't take it. “Just imagining you, oh I don't know, gogo dancing in a cage at some gay club, wearing nothing but gold booty shorts…”

“You just described my entire early 20’s,” laughs Cas. Dean feels a green envy pulsing through his veins mixed with admiration and desire. To be that open with who you are… Dean thinks about how free it would feel.

“Don’t laugh,” Dean starts, “I've never actually been to a gay bar.”

“Shut up!” Is Cas’ instantaneous response. Dean shrugs. “Seriously?”

“Part of Crowley's long standing plan to keep my sexuality out of the media. His plan has worked all these years, I'll give him that...it's just, I don’t know if I care anymore.”

“I could test that, you know,” Cas cautiously threads his fingers through Dean's still resting on his chest.

“You gonna take me to your favorite spot?” Dean's head tingles with the touch. He needs more.

“Show you how good it feels to be out… I mean we can be in the darkest corner of the place, if that helps. It's not like I go much anymore, but I'd love to take you,” Cas’ lip trembles a little at the thought. Better than his wildest dreams.

His head and heart are so torn, pulse hammering at the idea of tearing down everything his ‘team’ had worked so hard to build. Maybe this Cas was the way he could let all that go. His gay guardian angel...a hot one, at that.

“Let's go, angel…” Dean leans in for that kiss again, but decides against it. Not here. Needing... Somewhere new to make a memory.

…

This time, Dean doesn't get such an awesome parking spot but that's the last thing he's worried about. Looking up at the big, gay nightclub, he feels a thousand times more nervous than earlier tonight on stage in front of thousands. If he had an inhaler, he'd puff it.

“We don't have to go,” Cas offers in a calming voice. 

“No, I want to... Seriously let's go. Ripping bandaid off, now.”

Once inside the enormous, pulsing club aptly named TigerHeat, it was hot as fuck. Thankfully the boys had left their jackets in the Impala. 

Cas pulls Dean into the bathroom, slamming the stall door behind them, their bodies closing in on each other. “You want me, or this?” Dean breathes, pulling the little bottle from his pocket. 

“Can I answer...both?” Cas replies, hooking his index fingers into Dean's belt loops. Dean nods, twisting the tiny lid and holding it up for Cas. Cas sniffs the teeny bump of powder and Dean does the same. Cas runs his hands over Dean's tattooed sleeves, trying to make out exactly how each tattoo blended to the next. 

“It's really easier to see all of them when I'm naked,” Dean smirks, eyes watching Cas’.

“Please?” Cas begs cutely.

“I think that can be arranged… want one more?” Dean offers the vial and Cas nods, Dean takes a little after Cas. Cas puts both hands on Dean's firm chest and leans in, lips hovering a few inches from Dean's when there's a loud 'bang bang bang!’ that vibrates through Dean's body.

Cas grabs Dean's hand and uses the other to open the stall door, pulling him out so he nearly slams into the guy who'd knocked and two others, too quick for any of them to recognize him or not. But still, he felt more exposed than ever.

By the time they're out in the thick of it all, Dean has decided this is a fucking fantastic idea. The place is packed with sweaty, dancing bodies, and he decides it best not to make any eye contact with these people, just in case, so his head is down as he follows Cas through the club. Which is fine by him, because he gets to stare at that ass that saunters with a little more sass than earlier when he was 'work Cas’. His fingers dig into Cas' hips about halfway through their journey, causing Cas’ breath to get caught in his throat and making his saunter a little more difficult to do. 

A rainbow of laser lights bounce off every surface, the DJ drops the beat and everyone inside is pulsing, jumping, absolutely electric. Dean spots a bit of unoccupied wall space and snaps, worries be damned. He pushes the beautiful man until Cas’ ass is pressed up against it. Dean takes Cas’ wrists and holds them tight against the wall above his head. He gives not one last flying fuck about who sees. 

Dean parts his lips slightly and licks from Cas’ collar bone to ear and growls, “As fun and, uh, challenging as it's been to control myself around you tonight… I'm fresh out of self-control.”

“Good,” Cas says, his lips then crashing into Dean's, dragging Dean into him with a forceful growl. Dean's impressed. And turned on as hell. He slips his tongue past Cas’ dry, pink lips, the heat of his mouth rivals the heat of the club. Cas’ tongue curling into Dean's, fingers threading through Dean's short hair, pulling him in so their hips are flush. 

Dean breaks the kiss, grinding his hips into Cas’, both men are clearly hard, their clothed erections rubbing together in a way that Cas thinks is a little Junior High but also totally hot. Cas turns his head so Dean can whisper directly in his ear, “Do you have any idea how bad I want you?”

Cas moans, a delerious pleasure surging from those nerve endings all over his body. He thinks how truly amazing the night has been, how he may as well have rubbed a Genie's lamp...in fact, he feels like he is inside a Genie's magic lamp right now. His eyes open, head still turned to the left. His ocean blue eyes opening wide at the sight of two straight girls looking at them with eyebrows raised and jaws dropped, phones in hand. Dean's been spotted.

“Come,” Cas commands, taking Dean's hand and pulling him hastily into the mass of sweaty bodies. Dean has no idea why Cas had pulled him away but this point it doesn't matter, he will follow this man just about anywhere.

The entire building is basically one massive dance floor and it is absolutely packed. They brush against couples dancing, beautiful boys kissing, shedding clothes, absolutely tangled in bliss. For the first time, Dean feels like he might actually be able to have that. The feeling is all consuming, euphoric. He follows Cas dancing/swaying his way through the crowd and Dean does the same for quite a while, but now he's finally had enough. Here is good. 

Dean feels like a heavy weight has been taken off his shoulders, the idea of not really caring who sees, who knows. He feels so damn free. He wraps strong arms around Cas’ hips, slowing them, so Dean's front is tight against Cas’ back, mouth on Cas’ neck, then his ear, “Dance with me, angel.”

Cas nods, their hips rocking together from side to side. He's so overwhelmed with the idea that Dean Fucking Winchester has a pet name for him already, that he's the first guy Dean's publicly gone out with. Why him? Is this just a fluke? His head spins, it's too much to think about...so he focuses on the sensations. On swaying his hips to the pounding music, the heat coming from everyone surrounding him, bumping and pushing into him, but mainly the all encompassing presence of Dean Winchester. 

The feeling of this powerful man clinging to him, moving only with Cas’ motions, Dean's hands roaming up to his chest and back down, grazing over his stomach, hip bones, palming his hard dick through the fabric of his tailored suit pants… pair this with the elicit desire running through him as Dean grinds his denim clad erection against Cas’ ass… It's a powerful cocktail potent enough to bring Cas to his knees. Thankfully, Dean has him quite secure in his arms. If this is the only night I get to spend with Dean Winchester, Cas thinks, I'll be a happy man knowing this night was perfect.

Of course, that thought isn't entirely true but Cas is too involved in the moment to worry about his future emotions. He flips around in Dean's arms, placing his hands on Dean's ass. Dean does the same. He raises his eyebrows and mouths “Hey,” to Cas now that they're face to face. They barely have to dance really, as the movement of everyone around them is enough, their bodies moving with the beat and the crowd.

Cas presses his hips against Dean's, leaning in closer, “Is this real life?” 

“I sure fucking hope so,” Dean replies, mouth hot on Cas’ ear. “It's like I can breathe for the first time, being here with you.”

Cas scales back to read Dean's face, to see if he heard him correctly. His face is nothing if not sincere, full of pure and honest relief. Cas is in shock. Dean brings up a hand to run his fingers through Cas hair, then pulls him in, running his tongue over those pink lips. Cas parts them and Dean's tongue is wild in Cas’ mouth. Cas moans as Dean gently pulls his hair. He ruts his hips into Dean's and Dean returns with more friction. He growls, grabbing Cas’ ass, roughly pulling him in even more, hard dicks dragging together. Okay, so they're not fooling anyone anymore, this definitely doesn't resemble dancing, not even close. 

“Cas, I need to take you home with me. Like now,” Dean strongly suggests, lips red and swollen, gravely desperation in his voice. He has Cas by the belt loops, gently tugging.

“Didn’t we just get here?" Cas asks in Dean's ear, slowly being pulled away from the dance floor, inch by inch. "If we don't leave, I may do things in public that could get us arrested," Dean replies, pulling still, walking backwards through the crowd. "Well, we haven't even had a drink yet. Maybe one and then we'll-" Dean releases Cas now that they're away from most of the crowd, and takes a few steps away from him so Cas gets a good view. Dean slowly lifts the hem of his shirt, enough to tease Cas with just a small view of his hips and toned abs. Praise to Heaven hallelujah if he doesn't have tattoos there too! That, Cas was not expecting. He may even drool or feels like he will, heat spreading like wildfire across his face and creeping down his neck. Dean drops his shirt, he has to yell over the music, "Now are we going home?" Cas instantly closes the gap between them, "Fuck yes."


	7. A born again gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut, commitment, and coming out

The 45 minute drive to Dean's Malibu beach house has been an eventful one. It started with the two of them pawing all over each other until Dean nearly crashed the Impala. Once separated, Dean began grilling Cas about his last couple ex’s and why they weren't good enough for him, and then questioning him on every song he'd sold and also his favorite songs in general. Then, there was a bout of Dean's texting while driving, which Cas thought was also going to crash the Impala. 

Finally, now, there's a moment of peace. They enjoy the cool night breeze coming off the Pacific, whipping around the car, blowing their hair gently, Dean with one hand resting on Cas’ thigh. 

“So…” Dean starts as they approach Malibu, “I wanted to mention… I've sworn off one night stands.”

Cas laughs, “Like the way you swore off party drugs?”

“Well I gotta keep one promise to myself, don't I??” Dean sighs.

“Okay Dean...so...good thing you're stuck with me tomorrow? A second night makes it not a one night stand doesn't it?”

Dean is silent for a while. “That's not exactly what I meant.”

Cas waits.

“I have a proposition for you, now hear me out. I think you should date me.”

Cas’ jaw drops.

“Now I know there would be a ton of bullshit involved. The media would be hounding us, there'd be a big interview with The Advocate, then Rolling Stone and probably a ton more, cameras in our faces, people gossiping about you, a real pain in the ass. But I need someone to do this with. And... I think you like me.”

“I've liked you for years upon years, Dean,” Cas admits. He can't believe the conversation he's having now. Maybe I'm having a stroke? Cas wonders.

“But I mean the real me.”

“Yes, I like him a hell of a lot, too. Did you seriously just decide tonight to do this? This isn't a rash decision you need more time to think about?”

“I'm done hiding, Cas. I had to hide my last three relationships if that's even what you call them... and I just can't freakin do it again… This is it, I'm done. I feel it. I'm free. Man, I really, really needed this night.”

“Being in that sweltering hell hole of a club really made you see the light huh?” Cas teases, but he's really proud of Dean.

“Well, that and you.”

Cas' heart constricts and he can't breathe, let alone respond. 

“I know it's a lot to put on someone I just met. I'm sorry.”

Cas slowly waits for his heart rate to go back to normal so he can reply. He decides to go the humor route, “And you won't fuck me unless I say yes?”

This makes Dean's eyes crinkle and his smile widen, a wash of relief spreading across his cheeks. Now he knows… Cas will say yes.  
“Pretty much.”

“So you want to commit to dating me before we've had sex? What if you think I'm terrible in bed?” Cas is just beating around the bush, he knows he'd never say no to Dean Winchester.

Dean places a hand on Cas’ crotch, “Hmmm...let's think back to earlier... grinding against your tight little ass in the club...if it felt that good then, there's no way you won't feel and be incredible, in my bed, especially with our clothes actually being off…”

“You have a good point,” Cas huffs, fighting the urge to rut his hardening dick into Dean's palm. “Please tell me that bed is nearby…”

Dean grins, working Cas’ cock through his pants with very little mercy, “So we're dating...and that means I can have my way with you?”

Cas is panting and practically bucking into Dean's hand now, about to lose his damn mind, “God, yes! Are we fucking there yet?!”

….

The house is not the contemporary mansion with sleek, sexy lines that Cas imagined. Rather, there were no sharp edges or walls of glass, but rather, a beautiful cape cod style home like someone's rich parents would invite you to for a long weekend in like, the Hamptons or something… all cream colored shingles and white columns, white shutters and eves...very refined. He expected the inside to be all white with lots of black leather and loud, colorful art, framed rock posters and gold records on the walls… this he got right. The house reminded Cas of Dean himself...the exterior not being an indication of what's really inside. The next surprise was that the house was not cold and dark… instead it was dimly, romantically lit only by candles...there were white candles burning everywhere and...rose petals? Rose petals tossed everywhere, with a trail of them leading to a different room.

“Dean... explain,” Cas demands, eyebrows knitting together as he realizes the song playing softly in the background was one of his.

“Don't you remember? Those gold stars earned you a reward?” Dean hands him a glass of champagne. The bubbly had been poured into two glasses, and not by Dean. It was still cold. Cas has to wrap his mind around this setup…

“You almost drove us off the road texting someone to come set all this up?”

“For you…” Dean smiles.

“You seriously have minions to do your bidding in the middle of the night?” Cas asks. Duh! Cas reminds himself, this guy is a rockstar. He's never dated anyone rich and famous...it will definitely take some getting used to.

“Well, technically just one minion. My brother and I share an assistant, Becky. I mean… she was also Sam's but… Sarah kinda put an end to that. Becky is such a damn Sam girl. Anyway, she doesn't really sleep so it's not like I was dragging her out of bed! Its like the girl is on a constant Adderall drip or something…”

“And she made a playlist of all the songs I've had recorded? When did she have time to do that?” Cas' crouches down to touch a rose petal, “these are real rose petals? Where did she get these this time of night?”

Dean shakes his head, something about Cas’ attitude, so sassy, doubting, just a little cynical and argumentative. He found it so hot.

“Like I said, Adderall drip. So… are you going to enjoy your reward or just make a big deal out of it?”

Cas sighs, “enjoy it. Thank you, Dean. And Becky...she's not still lurking in the house somewhere is she?”

Dean laughs, “God I hope not. Are you gonna follow the petals or what?”

Cas grins, taking Dean's hand and following the rose petals to Dean's master suite. There's a plate of chocolate covered strawberries on the gigantic four poster bed as well as a tiny little velvet bag like you'd find with a piece of jewelry inside. Cas sits on the end of the bed and Dean stands in front of him, watching with glinting eyes. He hands Dean a strawberry and has one himself.

“I like my reward,” Cas hums.

“Well that's all just, ya know, ambiance or whatever...for the reward,” Dean is clearly giddy. He eats the strawberry in one bite and grins, He gestures for Cas to look in the tiny bag.

Cas peeks inside and bursts out laughing, “did she take really these out of your nightstand and put them in here?” 

“I think she was already at a store so she picked those up,” Dean smirks, referring to the assortment of condoms and small bottle of lube in the little gift bag. “So your reward is…” Dean leans to unfasten Cas’ pants removing them while he's still seated on the bed, “me sucking your cock until you can't take it anymore, then fucking you until you're screaming my name.”

“Fuck,” Cas hisses, that's a really good reward.”

“I thought so,” Dean agrees, pulling off his sweat soaked shirt.

“Fuck,” Cas says again. It's about all his brain can do. Cas considered himself decently fit but Dean… Dean was built. “Do you know you're like...the hottest person on the planet?”

Dean laughs, “well, I wouldn't say that…”

“I would,” Cas says, muffled, as Dean pulls his shirt off over his head. Cas sees a serpent slithering down Dean's side, slipping down past the line of his jeans. “I need to see all of you. Please,” Cas begs, tracing with his fingers that part of the snake he can see. Then his fingers trace thick black tribal lines on his shoulder, a dark Raven on his collar, and, yes, really! A black 67 Impala rolling across his rib cage. Most of the others were full of color. Cas needs to see more.

Dean shakes his head, “You're the one who could be getting blown right now but okay…” he sighs. 

Dean kicks off his jeans and his boxer briefs with them. He stands in front of Cas, arms out, who gasps and stares in awe. Dean feels something like an art museum exhibit but he's secretly enjoying the look on Cas’ face, and especially the way he's tracing each tattoo with his fingers, some Cas traces with his tongue. “oh fuck…” Maybe he not so secretly likes this, he's already most of the way hard.

It's difficult not to touch Dean's stiffening manhood, it's fucking exquisite. But there's so much to see and so little time. He has a completely accurate representation of his Fender strat on his back, cherry red. A beautiful portrait of a lovely blonde on his upper arm, Cas hopes that's his mother. His legs are filled with song lyrics, Cas could spend all day reading them and then listening to the songs, thinking about what they mean to Dean. The serpent he'd seen ended up being a part of the garden of Eden wrapping around Dean's hips and abdomen, front and back, most of the way down his hips and part of his ass. He was a complete and utter work of art.

“You know...you will have plenty of other opportunities to stare at my naked body.”

Cas smiles at the thought, oh yeah… this is more than a one night hookup...and he almost dies a little. He stands and wraps his hands around the back of Dean's neck and kisses him deeply, tongue hungrily searching for Dean's. As they kiss, Dean slips his hand into Cas’ briefs, wrapping his fingers around Cas' cock, slowly pumping until he's rock hard and Cas is moaning into Dean's mouth and pulling his hair. Dean pushes him onto the bed, sliding off his briefs and stroking himself and Cas in unison. “Son of a...oh God, this night does not suck…”

Cas’ eyes roll back at the sight of Dean pleasing both of them at the same time. This is just too much. “I may just be the luckiest concert security of all time… like the bodyguard that screwed Britney Spears... I'm luckier than him.” 

Dean laughs. He decides not to mention the time he actually did screw Britney Spears. It was a different (awesome) story for a very different time. He focuses instead on the beautiful man in front of him, the fact that he must have that dick in his mouth now.

Dean releases his own member but not Cas’, shifting himself down a bit. “I want to know exactly what you're thinking right now...” He says curiously before swirling his tongue around the head of Cas’ dick.

“Ahhh...um, hmm? What?”

Dean laughs low in his throat, licking Cas’ cock like a lollipop.

“Oh, uh, what am I thinking? Ahh, I could put it in two very different ways…”

Dean hums, wrapping his lips around Cas and taking all of him in his mouth. What Dean's thinking is quite simple, this dick is perfect, this man is perfect, what the hell else could I want?

Cas lets out a puff of air, trying to keep his voice normal despite the pleasure over taking him, “What I'm thinking is… Either I've sold my soul to the devil or I've died and gone to Heaven.”

Dean laughs, Cas’ dick hits his throat and the chuckle vibrates through Cas’ cock. 

Cas can't help it anymore, he let's out a low moan filled with need, followed by a, “Deannn... please…God, yes…”

And Dean laughs again, he can't help it, he just feels so light...free….well and also horny, can't forget that. Plus, this Cas is funny, the sardonic, sarcastic kind that Dean can never get enough of, that he related to on a spiritual level.

Dean practices a combo... with one hand, he uses his thumb and index finger to wrap around the base, sliding up and down, while the other three fingers massage Cas’ balls, and of course, he moves his mouth up and down but also intermittently twisting from side to side. 

Cas is writhing on the bed and moaning Dean's name on repeat like a mantra, so it must be a good move. He keeps his mouth where it is but moves his hand, index finger gently teasing between Cas’ cheeks.

“Mmm... please... please Dean…”

Something about the sound of Cas begging drives him totally insane. He gropes around the bed until he finds the bag with the little bottle of lube. He tells himself that if he can manage to open this bottle without taking Cas’ dick out of his mouth he should win some kind of award. It does take a bit of core strength, which he most definitely does have.

Dean coats Cas’ tight hole with the lube while still bobbing up and down on Cas’ needy cock, tasting a drop of pre-cum and involuntarily responds with an 'mmmm’ that elicits the filthiest moan from the beautiful man above him. He doesn't know why he wants so badly to make this man come undone… or why he knows so clearly that there will be many more nights spent in this bed together. How he got all that from knowing this man 9 hours, he will never know. But he feels it.

And Cas feels Dean slip a finger in his tight ring of muscle and gasps. Cas has something to the effect of 'this isn't happening… this isn't happening...I can't blow my load too early if this isn't actually happening…’ running through his mind, but it was. Really happening. Dean. Fucking. Winchester. was readying him for sex, and he worries the feeling of Dean's wet mouth on his cock and just one finger in his ass was enough to make him explode prematurely, let alone be able to handle what happens next. Finally, Dean releases Cas from his mouth with a pop! And Cas feels like he can catch his breath a little.

“You're incredible,” Cas whispers.

Dean smiles wickedly in response, adding a second finger inside Cas, Cas huffs.

“How does it feel, Angel?” Dean asks, his expression could rival the big, bad wolf's. He works Cas open. When Cas is too distracted to to respond, Dean starts thrusting his fingers deeper, “Hmmm?” 

“Ohhhhh...um… it feels, ahh... really, really… Dean?”

“Yes,” he answers devilishly.

“Will you please fuck me?” Cas is running out of air again. He pushes against Dean's fingers desperately.

Dean chuckles, “MmmHmm...How bad do you want me?”

“Oh God...Dean...that can't be... quantified in words..”

“That much huh?” Dean's fingers slip out of Cas and he hops up on his knees, his insanely hard dick popping up along with him. 

Cas just stares in awe, but when Dean rips open the little foil packet, he realizes he's yet to actually touch the ridiculously perfect cock in front of him. He sits himself up more and pleads, “please, let me?”

Dean nods and Cas takes it from his hand. He can't help but run his fingers over it, leaning over to kiss the head and give it a few licks, stroking with one hand, while his other massages his balls. “Cas…” Dean warns, his eyes starting to roll back.

He takes the hint, glancing at the label he grins at the word 'magnum’ and rolls it over Dean's length. His hands smooth over the hard planes of his decorated skin, “I have never wanted anyone more than I want you.”

And at that, Dean comes unhinged. He pushes Cas down on the bed, sliding his knees up and straddling him, teasing Cas’ hole with the head of his cock. He really can't wait anymore.

“I need you...please..” Cas says with puppy dog eyes.

Something about the way this man begs! Dean exclaims in his head - It's freakin awesome…  
Dean obliges, groaning as he slides deep into Cas. Dean sees Cas bite his lip, his breath catching in his throat, and Dean knows he needs to slow down a little. 

Cas watches Dean, with a practically dropped jaw, at the way Dean supports himself with just one hand planted firmly near Cas’ shoulder, Dean's arm and chest muscles bulging as he grabs for the lube with his free hand and coats Cas’ dick, lazily stroking him while moving inside him at a glacial pace. Cas makes a noise similar to “Gahahhhh…” 

He doesn't want Dean to get too much of an ego but Cas is panting from the stretching pressure he feels and it just comes out, “God Dean, you're so big…”

Dean breaks out into that grin, teeth glinting in the candle lit room. He has never gotten tired of hearing that and never will! “I'm trying to be gentle Angel, it's just that you feel so damn good…”

Cas licks his lips at the compliment and Dean watches hungrily, needing to taste them. Dean peels his hand off Cas’ dick, and bottoms out to get close enough to Cas’ lips. Cas gasps at the full sensation and Dean begins licking and biting at Cas’ lips until his press into Dean's, Cas’ tongue hot and reckless in Dean's mouth. Cas digs his fingers into Dean's hips and slowly rocks himself on Dean's cock, just little movements at first until he feels nothing but *good* and his lips break away from Dean's. He tries to talk but Dean won't stop kissing him. “You can-” *kiss* “stop being-” *kiss* “gentle with” *kiss* “me, Dean.”

Dean runs a hand through Cas’ hair, “You sure Baby? I don't wanna hurt you…”

Jesus! Pet name #2 from the rockstar. If he wasn't already lying down, Cas is pretty sure he would've fainted. “I'm sure,” Cas breathes, “fuck me with that fat cock, I need it…”

Dean growls. He resumes stroking Cas’ cock, faster this time, moaning and fucking Cas deep in his tight little ass. Dean feels like he's fucking flying, it's incredible, like he's born again...a born again gay, perfect.

“More,” Cas demands, hips thrusting up to meet Dean's, reaching his hands up to Dean’s chest, caressing Dean's beautiful technicolor skin. He teases both of Dean's nipples and there's a rumble low in his throat, Dean's dick slamming into Cas harder than before, he knows he's hitting Cas’ sweet spot with the way Cas’ eyes roll in the back of his head, he begs and begs, pinching Dean's nipples so he doesn't slow down. 

“Ahh...Angel…” Dean moans, looking down at Cas’ shaking thighs and pulsing cock slick in his hand, “oh you're gonna come for me, aren't you baby?” Cas nods, too overstimulated to speak, lapping waves of pleasure teasing him until Dean demands, “Come, Angel, I wanna feel you come…” and that's all it takes for the tidal wave to crash over Cas, he throws his head back, pleasure surging through his brain before he realizes he's screaming Dean's name loud enough to wake the neighbors, painting Dean's chest white with his hot cum. 

“Cassss…” Dean falls over the edge as Cas’ tight muscle spasms around his cock. Dean milks Cas’ cock until he's shaking uncontrollably, his hand leaving Cas’ dick just in time to support himself as the white hot orgasm rips through him, “Fuuuuuck!”

Cas is so incredibly blissed out but forces himself to commit every beautiful, orgasmic expression Dean makes to his memory... just in case he wakes up tomorrow and this was all just one incredible and incredibly realistic wet dream.

When Cas does wake however, just a few short hours later, he continues to be in the company of the planet’s sexiest rock god. Only now they're clean instead of sweaty and sticky, did we take a shower? Cas wonders, enjoy the warm, secure feeling of Dean's body against his back, those strong arms draped around him. Is this really real?

Cas and Dean seem to notice the reason they're waking up at the same time. The laptop on Dean's night stand is ringing... ringing…

“Dean?” Cas asks, sitting up in bed.

Dean peers at the computer. “Skype...It's my mom.”

“Does she know it's...what? 5 in the morning?”

Dean rubs his eyes, “there's no wrong time to call considering insomnia runs in our family, plus it's 7 at home so it's acceptable...kinda…”

Dean fumbles around, throwing Cas a t-shirt and putting one on himself hastily. He pulls the laptop into bed. 

“You're answering?” Cas asks, alarmed, still putting his arms through the sleeves.

Dean grins, “well yeah, I wanna introduce you.”

This is real, this is real! Bells and whistles are going off in Cas’ head but he smiles politely as Dean accepts the call and Dean's mother, a lovely blonde in her early 60’s, pops on the screen.

“Oh! Dean! You didn't have to pick up! You have company!” Her cheeks pink in surprise.

“Mom, I know I don't introduce you to a lot of people-”

Mary is in shock, but she cuts the BS, Dean hadn't introduced anyone to her since the failed engagement, “You rarely introduce me to anyone Dean…” then she makes her voice a whisper as if that'd make any difference at all, “and never to a boy! Ever!” Then she returns her voice to normal, “Hi there,” she says, referring to Cas.

“Good morning Mrs. Winchester,” Cas pretends not to feel awkward. 

“Mom, this is Cas. Cas is the head of our security this weekend at the bowl. Keeping your kids safe.”

“Nice to meet you Cas, please call me Mary! And allow me to thank you for protecting my boys.”

“And your girls,” Dean adds, “Guess who showed up last night?”

“Who? … No! Not Amber!” Mary covers her mouth in surprise.

“Fucking Amber! And she had a little pocket knife, like she was actually gonna come at Charlie. Cas ripped it from her hand before we even knew what is was, he's just that good.”

“Cas, Charlie is like the daughter I never had. It means so much to me that you were there to protect her. Is she alright?”

“She was just a little shaken,” Cas responds. 

“We're gonna check on her as soon as we get up, Mom.” Dean starts talking in a punctuated way that Cas figures is his way of making a point extra clear to Mary. “Mom, after that I'm taking Cas to brunch. To that place you liked on Melrose, the place with those croissants you liked…”

“Oh yeah! And their strawberry mimosas? They were so-”

“Mom, you know I mean...I'm taking Cas out...for a brunch date, on Melrose...where just about anyone could see…”

Mary furrows her brow and then it relaxes, she takes in a deep breath, “A date? A date-date, like, holding hands and kissing, on a day where lots of cameras will be out?”

Dean nods, his eyes cautious. Cas is aware he probably looks like a deer in headlights but...he fucking feels like a deer. In the headlights. Right. Before...crash!

“Dean… Honey, are you… are you, um, coming out? Today?”

Cas has had so many times feeling like he may pass out in the last ...not even 24 hours. This time he wishes maybe he would.

Dean shrugs, “It's not like I'm making an official statement.”

Mary smiles, “Well, Honey, you kinda are. An … unofficial official statement. That you don't care what people think anymore.”

“Well, what do you think?” Dean asks her, his hand rubbing circles on Cas’ back.

The truth is, Mary had had a...feeling... about Dean for some time. And when he called her last month after spending a long evening with his friend Johnny Walker, asked her if she would be hurt if he never gave her grandkids. She'd been completely flabbergasted by the question, where was it coming from? But then it started to click. All of the failed girlfriends, the many male 'friends’ Dean had mentioned in the past that he would be very close with and then a few months later not at all… it all suddenly made sense. And her response had been to Dean that Sam and Sarah had assured her that they were planning on giving her 'as many grandbabies as possible’ and that was more than enough for her. She had no more expectations for her older son, he’d already accomplished so much, other than she hoped he could finally be happy, truly happy in that 'find my missing piece’ sort of way.

“Cas…” she turns her attention to him instead, “my son knows I've never done anything but support him, and this is no different. If he finds happiness, that's all that matters and… Dean's had a long time to think about this. I know you haven't… the media attention attached to this kind of honesty. If he drags you into this, with the whole world watching? Are you gonna be alright?”

Dean's shoulders drop about 100 feet, or so it seems. Mom is okay with this… and I know Cas is, too. The light in his eyes has never been brighter. He looks to Cas with a face full of hope.

Cas runs his hand through his messy dark hair and shakes his head, not a 'no’ shake of the head, more of a ‘How could I ever respond to such a loaded question?’ shake. How would he know if he would be alright? He'd never had a chance to be in the limelight, let alone under media scrutiny. But was Dean worth it? Even if he thought all the gossip and his face being plastered in the tabloids would break him, it would still be worth it, just to be with Dean.

“More than alright,” Cas beams at Dean, giving his arm a squeeze.

Mary’s wary eyes change, they crinkle as her whole face smiles. She had seen this look before, on Sarah's face as she looks at Sam. It's the look of a teenager staring into the face of their first love. Mary knew those teenage girls that had her son’s faces plastered on their bedroom walls had grown up, and Sarah was one of them. When Sarah looked at Sam, Mary could tell Sarah was living her adolescent fantasy dream life come true, and Mary can see clearly now, Cas feels the same way about Dean. Why hadn't she realized there were plenty of teen boys dreaming of her sons as well? And now here was one, grown up, ready to follow Dean to the ends of the Earth. 

“Good,” she smiles at Cas, then turns her attention to Dean as well, “Well now I'm even more upset I didn't make it this weekend! I feel like I should be there for this day, Honey! Should I try to hop on the next plane out?”

“No, Mom, it's fine. I just needed to know you were okay with all this. And it's not like you're some kind of absent mother. You are flying your ass all the way to Europe next month to be with us.”

“True,” she grins, “and I can't wait! ...So this means you'll be joining us Cas? For the Europe tour?”

Cas’ eyes are saucer sized again. “Me? I don't know about-”

“I sure friggin hope so!” Dean says to his mother.

“But...I have a mortgage...and a cat…”

“I have an excellent house and pet sitter on speed dial,” Dean counters, referring of course to his minion Becky. “and we could keep you on as security...to pay the bills... although I could convince Crowley to add you to payroll as our... songwriting consultant instead, it's not like Sammy and I couldn't use some help. Mom, Cas wrote that Kelly Clarkson song you love, where her boyfriend doesn't treat her right so she tells him to pack his bags and then she...feels better than she ever has?”

“Cas! You wrote that? It really is one of my favorite songs!”

Cas blushes and nods. 

“Cas, you are a very talented songwriter! Please think about helping my boys. Besides, if you say no, I think you may severely bruise my son's fragile ego…” Mary smirks and Cas returns it.

“Well, we couldn't have that,” Cas chuckles.

“I'm gonna take that as a yes,” Dean grins, “Mom...you're awesome.”

Mary's heart is practically bursting with happiness for her son, but she manages to keep her cool, “I know.”


	8. Dean v. 2.0 AKA the "oh shit!" chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One year later! Lots of fluffy smut!

“Oh shit! Stay right there! Gotta pee!”

“Gahhhhh...gotta be friggin kidding me!”

“Be right back!” Naked Cas jumps off the enormous hotel bed and runs to the bathroom, leaving his boyfriend in a rather exposed position. When he stops to wash his hands, that's just so Cas, his eyes sweep up and down. He wants to take a quick look at himself but instead, something strikes him like lightning.

He pulls at his hair a little, turning his body this way and that in the mirror. When he met his rock god idol slash now boyfriend roughly 365 days ago, they looked like polar opposites. Clean-cut Cas with his dark hair, pale skin, body reasonably thin and unmarked. Cas looks at himself now, haired lightened and skin tanned by the sun on his partner's favorite place, the beach, his body more muscular and adorned with 6 new pieces of artwork, hair cut and styled by only the hippest barbers in LA and NYC. Cas whispers to himself, “Son of a bitch…”

“Cas? You got me here wet and ready on all fours and you're in there doing what now? Stealing my lines?” 

Streams of morning light hit Dean's face through the open windows. His eyes glowing green with desire. His naked boyfriend saunters back in the room, coming to stand by Dean's head rather than resuming his position behind Dean. The rockstar sighs.

“Dean… Am I turning into you?”

Dean chuckles, “You say that like a bad thing!”

Cas rubs his forehead, “Looking in the mirror it's like...Dean 2.0.”

“Haven't you heard that when a couple is together long enough they kinda start to look alike…”

Cas shakes his head, “Who says that?”

“Uhhh... people.”

“That never happened in any of my relationships before, Dean,” Cas’ eyebrows knitted in concern. Is this really a thing? Cas wonders.

“Angel, have you ever had a relationship like ours?” 

“Hell no!” Cas exclaims, making Dean laugh again. 

“Exactly. I don't think either of us have ever had this… spending a year together, without ever having a day apart from your person? Other than us, who the hell does that? Work together, travel together, share the same gym, barber, tattoo artist…”

“I guess I'm just worried about losing myself…”

With more than a hint of disappointment on his face, Dean shifts out of his 'about to get fucked’ stance and into the 'come here, I'm your caring boyfriend’ position instead. He gestures for Cas to basically sit in his lap, facing him with his legs wrapped around Dean's back. This isn't distracting at all, Dean thinks sarcastically. 

“The fact that you're worrying about this proves you haven't lost yourself at all. You're still the same Angel I fell in love with, as fucking neurotic and overthinking as you are brilliant and f’ing talented.”

Cas rolls his eyes and Dean does what he's got down to an art form by now, laying on the sweetness thick as honey until Cas forgets what he was overthinking about.

Dean kisses Cas’ ears, his neck, nipping at his collarbone as he talks, “Please Baby, don't think I ever thought about wanting to change you...I never thought of making you look like me, I love the way...loved the way you looked then too...this is just a side effect of me globbing on to you every damn day for a year. Maybe I should've given you more time for yourself, more alone time…”

“No,” Cas coos, “that's not...no…” Dean kisses along Cas’ jaw, “I didn't mean that, it's not your fault…” Cas’ head falls back as his brain floods with endorphins. With Dean, it doesn't take much, Cas is putty in his hands, every time.

“Is it okay? That I like...that I love the way you look now Angel?” Dean asks sweet as sugar, his finger tips and nails dragging slowly over Cas’ body.

“Mmmhmmm,” moans Cas quietly.

“Because I think you're the hottest thing I've ever seen, and I don't regret one minute I've spent corrupting you.”

“Or me corrupting you,” Cas laughs, breathless.

“Cas, baby, the way you look now...it’s our life together this last year…I look at you and remember just how fucking awesome it's been.”

Dean's words, Dean's hands and mouth all over him, Cas has already forgotten what he was even upset about. 

“And it's not like you haven't changed me too! I have your name tattooed on my ass, for God sakes!”

Cas chuckles, nothing says 'I’m sorry’ after an argument than tattooing your boyfriend's name on your ass. That had come as quite a surprise to Cas... although insane, it definitely did make him forget whatever the hell it is they had been bickering about. It's only been healed a few weeks and Cas still hasn't gotten used to it... doesn't know if he will...

People usually have tattoos of their exes’ names, don't they? Cas doesn't dare think it, or tries not to, about ever being just an exes’ name on the ass of the most amazing man he's had the serendipitous luck of knowing. His life revolves around Dean… and maybe that's what's causing Cas to freak. If he ever lost Dean now, he'd be losing himself too, there'd be nothing left.

“Let me show you how much I love you…” Dean pushes Cas down gently so he's flat on his back, and starts in on the first of Cas’ new tattoos, a three dimensional compass over a map of the world on his chest. Dean traces it first with his fingers and then with his tongue, the way Cas had done to him their first night together...and a few other subsequent nights. “I’ve taken you more than half way across the world, it's still not enough.”

Cas lets out a sexy little whimper in response.He knows there isn't a single worry of his that Dean couldn't erase. Dean licks up to now carefree Cas’ shoulder, kissing the tan skin and smattering of freckles there, while tugging on Cas’ sun streaked hair. Dean will admit he'd kinda suggested this cut, which happens to be the same high fade cut as his but maybe longer on top. Oops. 

“You got these freckles...when? When I taught you how to surf?”

“Badly!” Cas adds in a whisper. 

“I didn't think you were that bad!” Dean licks down. Every. Single. Ab. “These came from… you doing, what? Mini crunches leaning up to kiss me when I fuck you?” His fingers trickle down the treasure trail... ghosting over Cas' cock.

“Unghhhh...got them from...the gymmmm... thank you very much, mmm…” Cas barely gets out as he unravels from Dean's touch.

“You're so sexy,” Dean groans, his tongue teasing Cas’ dick, then he licks over to Cas’ hip. “This may be my favorite, baby…”

“We're pretty fucking cute aren't we?” Cas hums as Dean strokes his cock lazily and laps at the scroll of black letters on Cas’ hip. A lyric from a song they wrote together, ‘I always swore that I would get to you someday...’

 

“Extremely fuckin cute,” Dean agrees. He has the next line from the song on his hip as well, ‘I’m getting closer but I'm still so far away.’ 

Dean gets lost in his thoughts - tonight we're gonna play it for the first time in front of people...How are they gonna react? Not that it matters much to him, when he's on stage with Cas, nothing else matters.

He’s tried to think of this before, what was his favorite part of being with Cas… writing songs together? Fucking all night and cuddling after? Just actually being himself around him, always accepted, in a way he couldn't be with anyone else? 

Those, hell yes, all of those! But when Sam busted his hand a month into their Europe tour (okay it was just one broken finger, done while showing off for Sarah on a damn Vespa in Italy, of all things) and couldn't play a few dates, Dean had begged Cas to fill in for Sam. Again, putty in Dean's hands, and he had to say yes despite all his nerves. He knew all the chords by heart, after all. Sam soon returned, playing rather lightly while Cas carried most of his parts. Playing on stage with Cas… feeling his energy, feeding off his solos (Sam always left the solos for Dean, but Cas was a show-off), the way they just connected and the music flowed so easily between them. It was a feeling better than sex. But when Sam was playing like himself again and was ready to take over all guitar duties, Dean decided…

“Dean!” Cas hisses through his teeth. 

“Oh shit!” Dean realizes his boyfriend is huffing, pink in the face, trying not to come while Dean jerks him off absentmindedly while deep in thought. “Sorry, Angel,” he licks precum off the tip and releases Cas from his vice grip.

“I was just thinking about the day I decided not to play live anymore unless you were up there with me. It was a damn good decision, wasn't it?”

“Dean…” Cas sighs, attempting to regain his composure, “you can't just casually mention that. Don't you remember what happened the day you announced it in front of the band, Crowley, Mary...”

“Well, yeah, you passed out. Big deal! We all know you get overwhelmed-”

“By you. By your love for me. These grand gestures, how incredibly ballsy, out on a limb crazy you go just to show me you love me... you know how I get, and then I start thinking that I don't deserve-”

“Angel, we've been through this. I want you to just...enjoy the moment. I say I can't possibly play without you ever again BECAUSE ITS TRUE and I'm thinking I'm being pretty fucking romantic and then you go and freak out on me.”

“It's extremely fucking romantic,” Cas sighs, “I'm sorry.”

“Can I somehow convince you you deserve it? You deserve all of this…”

“I guess I need a better therapist,” Cas laughs. His eyes tell Dean with earnest that he will try, try to accept the amount of love Dean has to give, because it really is the best thing ever. Being with Dean, playing on stage with him, that's when he feels like his life is truly complete.

“You mean one that's not me? Probably a good plan,” Dean chuckles, “Now that we're back on the best coast for a while. When we're back in LA, we'll get you the best shrink in town.”

Dean glances at Cas’ lyric tattoo again. “Tonight! Hot damn, Baby...our first time playing one of our songs together for a crowd,” Dean grins.

“Hoooooo…” Cas exhales sharply, “Oh here we go...I didn't even know I was anxious about tonight's gig until you said that. A big freaking crowd, Dean. This song means so much to me, I'm worried they might not like it.”

“We're in San Fran, Cas, I'm sure they'll eat it up… they'll love it all, especially now that we were named...what?”

“The Advocate named us the LGBTQ ally band of the year,” Cas huffs.

“Yeah, that. But if you're really worried, I'll just have to fuck away your worries then, Baby,” Dean bites his lip, eyes playful and full of excitement despite the fact that, if anyone should be nervous about tonight, it’d be Dean.

“But I was gonna fuck you,” Cas pouts. 

Dean smirks, “See, already got your mind off that, too. Man, I'm a miracle worker!”

“I would say so… because you're my fucking miracle.”

“Now who's being romantic AF?” Dean jokes, kissing Cas’ soft lips.

“Does this mean I get to fuck you then?” Cas asks breathlessly between kisses, “Go back to where we were before I went all temporary insanity?”

Dean snorts, “temporary?” Cas gives him a glare and he throws up his hands in defense, “Yes! Please, my love.”

Cas flips him onto all fours, right where he had him before his little tantrum. 

“You just wanna be back there to see your name on my ass,” Dean laughs, until Cas slips in a digit, then two… Dean groans. “I'll take that as a yes.”

“Mmmhmmm,” Cas responds, “It's almost like, you're branded...like...you and your ass are all mine,” the thought is intoxicating to Cas, his cock throbbing with need as he stretches Dean open with now a third digit.

“Not almost, Angel. That thing ain't coming off with baby oil. I'm branded alright, and I'm yours, for...as long as tattoos stay on skin.”

Cas is getting that overwhelmed, woozy feeling again, and Dean can sense it. His fingers slip from Dean and his hand grabs onto the tattooed skin, steadying himself.

“Do you wanna lay down?” Dean asks, “you can relax baby, and I'll do some very naughty th- ahhhh!”

Dean gasps as the head of his boyfriend’s hard cock slides inside him, that, he was not expecting just then. But he likes it. “Or...uhh, just do that. I really like that baby, mmmmfff….”

Cas gasps at how good it feels, sheathing himself fully inside his man. Mr. Powerful Rock God didn’t usually give up control like this, let himself be fucked... dominated. But once in a while? He liked it, a lot. Cas digs his fingertips into the tattoo, “Do you know how many people would kill to be with you? Like this? But I'm...uhnnff...the only one who gets to. For…”

Dean pushes his hips back into his Angel to let him know he's ready for more movement, “Forever,” Dean holds his breath, waiting silently for a response that doesn't come. Cas, instead of possibly crying or passing out from hearing his teenage crush/current love announcing he wants to be with him for infinity, begins pounding Dean's ass with reckless abandon.

“Ahhhh...fuck, angel, unghhhh,” all the muscles in Dean's upper body are hard and flexed, trying to keep Cas from knocking him on his stomach. A deep growl rumbles in Dean's throat as Cas scratches his nails down his tattooed back, through his hair onto his scalp, scratching then tugging lightly on his hair. 

“Cas, oh God baby... that's it…”

Cas grips Dean's left hip with all he's got, his right hand reaching around to stroke Dean's neglected cock while he continues slamming into Dean, who babbles something similar to begging and pleading with lots of prayers to God and his Angel. 

Dean's breathing is labored, moaning and gasping as Cas hits that sweet spot relentlessly. No one has ever made Dean shatter the way Cas can. Never has Dean ever found a better lay, better friend, better musical partner, and muse. He imagines his plan for tonight going off without a hitch and what that means for the rest of his life. His thighs shake and his body tenses, it's the best possible fantasy.

“I like forever. Come for me, Dean.” Cas smiles as his man instantly comes undone for him on demand. Dean makes a strangled moan as his body shudders, “Mmmhmm, let go baby, just like that,” Cas says, breathless as he pumps Dean's cock, his man’s hot come spilling over his fist and the filthy moans coming from Dean drive him over the edge. “Deannnn... I'm coming, ahhhh…”

The force of Cas’ orgasm nearly knocks Dean down, almost falling in the wet puddle underneath him. “Unhh, fill me up, Angel…”

And Cas does, to an extent, until some instinct takes over. “Fuckkkk…” Cas pulls his dick from Dean quickly, the rest of his release coating Dean's ass and lower back, the tattoos of Cas’ name and the first sin. How ironic. “Mine,” Cas groans as he marks his territory, what is his. Dean will always, always be his, if he has any say in the matter.

Cas throws himself on the dry part of the bed and Dean instantly has a leg thrown over Cas’ legs, propped up on an elbow staring at him.

“I fucking love you Angel...I don't just say that because you're the best fucking lay I've had in my life.”

Cas is still breathing hard, “Is that so?”

Dean leans down to kiss Cas and then replies, “Abso. Fuckin. Lutely.”

Cas grins, “Better than Britney?”

“Britney, Jessica Simpson, Lance Bass, you name an early 2000’s popstar I screwed, you're better.

Cas gets a kick out of this, “really?” He smirks.

Dean nuzzles his neck, smiling against Cas’ skin, “MmmHmm…”

“Okay...then, I love you too.” Cas starts a slow crawl off the bed, “shower?”

“You start Baby, I'll be in in a minute, have to respond to Sammy real quick,” Dean answers and Cas nods. He waits to hear the shower running for a while before he speed dials baby bro.

“The fish flies at night!” Dean whispers.

Sam chuckles, “Seriously? He still has no idea?”

“Blissfully unaware.” Dean replies. Sam goes silent on the other end. “Sammy, I thought you had questions, about the plan for tonight? Why the radio silence?”

Sam makes a weird noise in his throat.

“Oh come on Sammy, you know what I said about chick flick moments…”

“I know, Dean, it's just...you don't expect me to get a little emotional? The fact that you're gonna ask our best friend to be your…”

And then it hits him, “Husband. Oh...shit.”


	9. Lovefool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really fucking sorry how much these guys say fuck! P.S. weird Mom choice, I know...

Cas sips on his Americano, black, and gazes lovingly at most of the important people in his life all gathered around one table, wondering why the hell they're all so jacked up. They're drinking little cappuccinos on the reserved back patio of one of the swankiest and best reviewed brunch spots in San Francisco and Cas’ interest is piqued.

“What is it about today you guys can't hold your caffeine?” Cas asks, many a pair of wide, over-caffinated looking eyes landing on him. His beautiful boyfriend, Dean, and his best friends in the world, Sam, Sarah, Jodie, Charlie, and Donna, and momma bear Mary are all speechless. 

“Um...I think I read that they make espresso stronger in the Mission district,” Sarah lies. The rest nod. 

“Well okay, but I feel fine, other than I'm starving...are we waiting to order?”

“Uh...I think so?” Dean offers lamely.

“Why? Aren't we all here?” Cas is starting to get a little annoyed, but probably just hangry.

Dean clears his throat, “Well…”

Sam clears his throat even louder, head nodding sharply towards the door that leads into the restaurant. Mary sees his signal and hops up, heading to the door.

“Now we're all here!” Mary smiles. She opens the door and the most fabulous redhead enters, must be in her early 60’s but looks much younger, with bright Auburn curls pinned stop her head and giant cat eye sunglasses.

“Hello boys! Mommy's here!” The redhead exclaims with her arms out dramatically. “Oh, and girls!” Cas practically sprays coffee through his nose. 

He jumps from his chair to greet his beloved mother, “Why didn't you tell me?” He asks, hugging her tightly.

“They wanted to surprise you, it was kind of fun…” Rowena grins, “I missed my boy.”

“I missed you too…” Cas trails, letting go of his mom so she can greet the others, wondering why they were planning surprises for him, it's not his birthday.

Rowena gives Mary a tight squeeze and Mary tells her how glad she is that she could make it. The two, bonding over their lives as working single moms, had really hit it off a few months ago when the boys invited them to join them at a resort in the Caribbean as a mother's day gift. They've been close ever since.

The Wiccan redhead, not retired like Mary but rather, still running a very popular new age shop in Seattle, loved her son more than anything. But there was just one person she loved almost as much as Cas, and that was Dean.

“Mom,” Dean grins, opening his arms up to Rowena, whose eyes light up at the sight of the ridiculously handsome musician ready to hug her. This perfect man becoming her son-in-law? It was almost too good to be true. “My second favorite boy!”

“I don't know if I've ever been happier!” She whispers with her barely there accent, as close as she can get to Dean’s ear, making sure her son doesn't hear.

“Just you wait,” he says to her quietly, then giving her a kiss on each cheek.

Dean calling Rowena 'mom’ makes Cas’ knees feel like jelly and a pair of giant hands squeeze his shoulders and help him sit in the nearest chair. 

“We need to order a lot of food, like right now,” Sam says and Donna nods, ready to grab the server. They want Cas eating as much as possible now to help prevent any fainting their friend’s body might try later tonight. 

Sam has no problem taking care of Cas, there were times where he was kind of a... delicate flower, with his emotions and all, but both brothers had been there. And Sam will do just about anything for the blue eyed musician, especially after how he saved his ass, and the band’s, in Europe. Sure, it had stung a little when Dean laid down the ultimatum: share your chords, your vocals, everything you do in the band with Cas. It was Sam's band too, after all, but he knew Dean wouldn't have said it unless he was seriously in love, and that was Sam's hope for Dean all along so...you get what you ask for? 

There’s no denying Cas is an amazing player, but Sam never felt like Cas was competing with him, just boosting him to be better. It didn't even bother him when he'd solo, that isn't Sam's thing, plus it's entertaining to watch Dean's eyebrows get all knitted together when Cas stole his solos.

“Thanks Sam, thanks babydoll,” Donna smiles at Cas’ nickname for her, then immediately finds their server. 

“Thank goodness you're here! We're gonna need, like, 4 of everything on the brunch menu,” Donna grins at the server, “and like, a lot of champagne...and a little orange juice.”

After Rowena's second mimosa, she exclaims how touched she is to be here and how excited she is for tonight, how she's been looking forward to this night for... Cas cocks an eyebrow. Everyone else in their party holds their breath. Had their entire cover been blown because Cas’ little size zero mother couldn't hold her booze?

“Mom, you saw us in New York, what? 6 weeks ago?” Cas asks suspiciously, eyebrows knitting together in the cutest way. Dean clears his throat roughly and Charlie bites her nails in worry. 

“Oh, I know!” Rowena clears her throat, realizing from the stern looks the rest of the party were giving her that she might be going a little overboard. “I just love you my darling boy, and you are all so amazing to my Cassy!” She didn't want to give away tonight's big surprise, it was just difficult for her to contain her joy, the thought of her only son getting engaged would be exciting enough, but this was Dean. He had just about the most beautiful aura she'd ever seen.

Sam purses his lips and Mary starts talking to Rowena and the girls about San Fran’s shopping to distract her from spilling the beans. The brothers sigh in relief until they notice Cas’ eyes glowing blue in their direction, like he might just be able to see right through them.

“Is there… something special about tonight's gig that I'm forgetting?” Cas asks pointedly.

“Every gig is special when you're there, Angel!” Sam goofs, pouring over Cas as Dean does, holding back chuckles. “I don't even care if you play all my solos! You're better than me anyway!”

Dean doesn't appreciate his bro’s impression of him but it makes Cas laugh and drop the interrogation which Dean silently thanks Sam for a few dozen times.

Cas is grinning from ear to ear, almost too ‘fat and happy’ to walk after all that food, one arm slung over his mom's shoulder, the other over Jodie's. They begin leading him to a separate car than the one everyone else is piling in. 

The driver opens the door to the large towncar and Dean stands nervously next to him. Cas looks at him questioningly.

“Just you and Dean. No protesting!” Jodie explains for Dean. Dean is grateful. He's falling apart more and more as the day goes on, piece by piece.

“But… Mom?” 

Rowena pats her son's shoulder while subtly moving him to where he'll have no choice but to get in the car. “I'm sorry darling, the girls wanted to see a few places, a few boring, girly places dear, you wouldn't-”

“But...Sam?”

“Cars leaving!” Mary calls, “See you soon, boys!”

Rowena gives her boys a quick kiss and runs to their car, Jodie follows. Cas stands, bewildered, until his man nudges him in the hired car and suddenly he has even more questions.

Inside, there's complete privacy, champagne, mood lighting, even…

“Rose petals? Ok this has your damn name all over it, Winchester. It's not our anniversary.”

The door closes behind Dean and he is instantly all over his hopefully soon to be fiancee. “Well a week ago it was. Maybe people who are lukewarm about each other celebrate for a day. But you baby?” Dean sucks at Cas’ earlobe, “You deserve at least a week, maybe a month or…”

Cas’ breath hitches a little, “And to think, people were surprised you were gay. I doubt many straight rock stars are as romantic as their lyrics suggest. But you…”

“Because of you, Angel. Others, I'd forget to get them a card…” Dean's hand travels over Cas’ chest, down his firm stomach, landing on his crotch. “But I'd do anything for you, Baby.”

Dean kisses him sweetly, then uses the free hand not palming Cas’ dick to grab the bottle of champagne from the ice.

“And surprising me with my mother? That was just an… interesting extra anniversary gift?”

Dean pops the bottle, “What can I say? I'm quirky.”

Cas raises an eyebrow but decides to give up and enjoy the moment. He takes the glass Dean pours him and waits for Dean to be ready to toast. They'd done this just days before but it was somehow just as sweet now. Maybe because it was so unexpected.

Dean raises his glass, “Like you said earlier, Cas, I like forever.”

He resists the urge to tell Dean to cut it out. Instead, he quietly reminds himself that he deserves this. “As long as it's with you, I'm for it.”

“Oh it better be with me. I'll cut a bitch!”

Cas tries not to laugh and fails. *Clink* They bring the glasses to their lips, then kiss. It's a lot less sweet than before. Dean's tongue battles with Cas’ until they're out of breath and needing all their hands free to grope.

“Here,” Cas pants, clinking his glass to Dean's once more before downing the rest and setting it down. As soon as Dean does the same, Cas throws a knee over his lover and straddles Dean like it's his job, “God… am I one lucky son of a bitch…” Cas' whispers desperately, rutting his hips against Dean's, nipping at his neck and ear. 

Dean's cock had been hard since the second he saw Cas smile at the rose petals and wine. He thrusts it against his boyfriend's as his fingers tangle in Cas’ no longer perfectly coiffed hair. “I just had you this morning, how can I need you so badly? Fuck…”

Cas grins at the comment but doesn't answer. Instead, Cas slides his hands up Dean's shirt, gently raking his fingernails over his nipples while sucking little red spots onto Dean's neck until he's about to lose all control. “Please, before you make me come in my pants, tell me dear, where the hell are we going?”

They arrive at their destination, disheveled, horny and, in Cas’ case, full of curiosity. The driver nods at them as he makes his way to the back of the car, his arms suddenly full of all their luggage. “Honey… how did all of our junk get in this guy's trunk?”

Dean laughs, “See, that's why it never would've worked with Britney. She's just not funny like you.”

“Oh shut it,” Cas rolls his eyes and follows the driver to their apparently new hotel. It was a top notch four seasons. But the other one was nice, too.

“Any particular reason we're switching hotels, Dean?”

Mr. Crinkle Eyes just beams, proud of himself, “the other one didn't have a spa with couples massages.” And it was closer to tonight's venue, a win win.

Cas tries not to smile and shakes his head, “You. Are. Good.” He checks his watch, a couple hours before they need to be arriving at the arena. “Please tell me our appointment is in at least 20 minutes, because we need to run upstairs so I can thank you personally for today.”

Dean checks his matching watch as they bound up the steps to the hotel, “It's in a half hour,” he grins, “you may have time to thank me twice.”

Dean slams Cas up against the wall of the beautiful suite the second the bellhop leaves. 

“Uh uh, naughty little rockstar. I'm the one thanking you today.”

Dean works fast and efficient, getting Cas’ pants off and then his own. “But the massages could suck, totally, so maybe…”

“They'll be amazing, because everything you do for me is. And we need to go down there naked under our robes anyway, so take off the damn shirt. And socks for Christ sakes and let me show you my appreciation.”

Dean chuckles and does as he's told. Now it's Cas throwing Dean against the wall, the rockstar already moaning as his boyfriend slicks up his cock with that pretty pink mouth.

“God damn, I need to come in that sexy mouth, baby.”

Cas already had his lips off Dean's member. He strokes him lazily while sucking filthily on his own digits, then pops them out of his mouth.“Can you take a hint from Axl and use a little patience?”

Dean wants to, but rock references during sex just work him up even more. Cas works a finger deep inside Dean while he sets to work on enveloping his lover's entire fat, needy cock in his mouth, hitting the back of his throat and moaning around his man's perfect dick.

“Fuck baby! Oh God…” Dean grips onto Cas’ hair like a drowning man to a life preserver. 

Cas 'mmmmmms’ around Dean's shaft, working a second digit into Dean's tight ass has him begging already.

“Please, Angel, oh right there, oh fuck!”

Watching Dean fall apart like this is honestly Cas’ favorite thing ever. But he doesn't like to tease or edge him for any real length of time. He aims to please, not tease. His cheeks hollow, mouth vacuum sealed to his cock as he sucks from base to tip while his free hand squeezes Dean's balls, bobbing himself up and down on that dick until Dean can't come up with another ounce of patience. He pulls harder on Cas’ hair, fucking into his angel's throat. Cas doesn't mind, gagging is the least he can do for the man that's completely set his world on fire.

Cas shifts the angle his digits are hitting and adds a little more power behind them. A roar rips from Dean's throat and Cas is grateful they have the whole floor to themselves. Even more grateful at the delicious release shooting down his throat, his untouched cock hard as a rock from knowing how he's made Dean feel, from the filthy praise flowing from Dean's lips.

“Son of a, fuck, oh god damn it baby you're so fucking...gahhh... good, so good, what did I do to deserve you…”

Cas slides his lips off of Dean and fingers out of him so precisely slow to not lose a drop or shock his poor, overstimulated body. Dean puts out his hands to help Cas up, instantly embracing his lover with strong, grateful arms. 

“I hope you know I'm never gonna stop doing romantic shit for you, Angel,” he breathes in Cas’ ear.

“Then I'm never going to stop thanking you. Just. Like. That.”

Dean groans in appreciation, kissing those soft dry lips he loves so much. His hand floats down to Cas’ raging hardon and whimpers dramatically. “Oh fuck Baby, you didn't even touch yourself, you're this hard just from making me come, aren't you?”

“Mmmhmmm,” Cas' replies cutely.

“Tell me I have time to help you with that.”

Cas checks his watch, grins, walks to the ridiculously large bed and collapses on his back. He slides his hands behind his head and snarks, “You have ten minutes exactly. Get to work.”

Dean lets out a low rumble from his chest and slides in between his man's legs. “God damn it, Baby, you really are hot as fuck.”

“You mean I really am You 2.0?”

Dean shakes his head and smiles, absentmindedly stroking his already hardening dick and growls, “You drive me fucking crazy, Angel.” He reaches down and strokes Cas as well, “You sure you want my mouth, or can I fuck that tight little ass?”

“Jesus! What are you a machine? Your body is somehow gonna produce more cum in the next 9 minutes, huh?”

Dean thinks over which bag he tossed the lube in, “Fuck yes.”

Cas rolls his eyes skeptically, but he wants that cock more than anything… even more than that 5 star massage awaiting him. “My grey toiletry bag.”

Dean jumps off the bed gleefully, then stops, “Wait, how do you know that's where I put it? I was in a rush and-”

“Because I have you trained, Winchester, now fuck me before I get up and put my robe on.”

Dean has no idea if he can really pull it off, grabbing the bottle from the bag and leaping back to the bed. But he sure wants to try. The sight of Cas pulling his knees back, biting his lip and whining little moans of need make him as sure as a seasoned pornstar that he's up to the task. He slicks up his fingers, stretching his man with a smile, thinking of how well his Cas’ little ass can take all of his size and still feel like the tightest fucking fit ever. Cas is mewling and writhing from where those glorious fingers are hitting, Dean is wrecked simply from watching his angel lose control.

Then, the brunette man says something Dean didn't quite expect, “Please, Dean, please?” *Whimper* “I love you, I love you so much.”

The sweet words send a startling lightning bolt of adrenaline through his body and his heart straight out of his chest. Or so it feels, as it really hits him...

My husband. My fucking husband, Dean thinks, completely elated. How did fucking fate get it so right? I get to marry my best friend, all I have to do is ask.

His brain shuts down. His whole body shakes. His fingers fly from Cas as he slicks up his cock so fast Cas still jumps as he feels the head at his entrance so soon. “Please, please, I need you, need you inside me," is all he can say to Dean in response.

Dean floats from his body as his cock slams into his Angel, his fucking soulmate husband 'friggin angel. His fingers wrap around Cas’ length and strokes him in time with his hips' quick thrusts. Dean has lost all control, thoughts detaching from where they were created, crazy words flying from his mouth with no logic or reason. He locks eyes with Cas and yet it also feels like he's watching this all from above like a movie.

“I fucking love you! Fuck! Marry me, Angel!”

Cas blinks. He huffs. He's getting fucking pounded, his head clouded with lust. How the hell is he supposed to respond to that? “Yes, baby,” is all he can say, “Yes, yesssss...”

Cas tells himself it's probably sex talk, but the thought blooms happiness across his entire body.

“You'll marry me, Angel?” Dean asks with hooded eyes, delirious, slamming into Cas, jerking his red, throbbing cock with no thought attached whatsoever.

Cas has no access to logical thought either, the way Dean's hitting his prostate about a million times a minute. “Fuck yes, Baby! Oh Deannnnn….” The pleasure is so intense, Cas is slick with sweat, his whole body trembling, “Come. Come inside me, I wanna feel you when I come, please baby, I'll marry you every fucking day, fuck I'm-”

Dean growls wildly as he orgasms, hot cum shooting into Cas as he's sent to some other plane of existence, Cas’ searing release exploding over Dean's hand and all over Cas’ stomach. 

“Cominggg, ahhhhhh….” Now it's Cas' turn to leave his body. That's how it feels. Blissful fucking nirvana, like the best, most forceful come he's had, like, ever. Shaking, twitching, tight muscle constricting, pulsing around the big dick inside him. He drags his fingernails down Dean's shoulders and it snaps him back to reality.

Dean's sweaty and damn near lifeless body rolls off of Cas, he lays there unmoving until suddenly his body shoots up from the bed. He'd ruined the fucking day. The secret. The public display, the surprise. Weeks of planning that everyone in his life helped him with. Fuck!

“Dean? Dean, what's wrong?”

“Son of a bitch!”


	10. Think I wanna marry you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update! Xoxo!
> 
> .........
> 
> Dean tries to "unfuckup" the situation at hand, blowing his proposal to Cas' in a moment of bliss. He's really dug himself deep now. Only Dean could make this work...

The two robed men stand in silence until the elevator closes. 31 floors down and hopefully no stops. 

“You're not gonna tell me what's wrong?”

Dean sighs in response, thinking if there's anyway he can unfuckup the situation at hand. Everyone tonight other than Cas and the audience is expecting an amazing proposal. But I just did it, didn't I? Blew the whole friggin surprise. What the hell can I even say?

Doubt befriends fear and the two creep across Cas’ mind in a dreadful dance. “You didn't mean what you said, back there in bed?”

Dean's eyes widen. “Of course I meant it! I-”  
He decides the phrase ‘damned if I do, damned if I don't’ would fit well here. His mind turns over and over… if I don't tell Cas why I flipped, he'll think I don't love him and have a panic attack. If I do tell him, it will ruin the surprise...then again, I kinda already ruined it. At least this way, Cas will be more prepared and less likely to lose it on stage. 

“I just wasn't supposed to ask you that until tonight.”

“Tonight?” Cas’ eyes light up the brightest aqua and his pink, chapped lips spread across his whole face. “That's why mom is here. The brunch, the car, the whole day was-”

“For you, it was all for you, Cas, and there's a lot more to it and-” *Groan* “Oh, fuck me!”

Cas’ cheeks flush crimson as the elevator stops about half way down and as the doors part, the jaws of four fangirls absolutely just drop. Ok, they were more like fanwomen, frozen in shock.

Begrudgingly, Dean holds the door open before it closes in their faces. His free hand waves them in while Cas’ hand lingers over his face in embarrassment. Dean stabs the lobby button a few times for good measure.

“Holy shit!” One girl whispers to another.

Cas’ lips turn up at the corners and Dean can't help but grin. Whispering in an elevator is so not a thing. It was like theater of the absurd only funnier… and more absurd.

“Dean Winchester! Seriously?”

“Well, I don't know how serious he can be in that robe,” Cas ribs. 

“Isn't that like the pot calling the kettle white and fluffy or some shit?” Dean chuckles, reaching out to quickly shake hands with the fans, “That's me.”

The women are electric with excitement, “Oh my God! We're seeing you tonight! We were just saying how we couldn't wait and-”

“Now you don't have to,” Dean shakes his head at the barely there irony with a smirk and then his head nods toward Cas, “He's the one you should be excited to see. He plays my solos better than me, anyway.”

The girls sigh collectively. “Cas, can I just say, I love what you said in the Rolling Stone, about how meeting Dean gave you a second lease on life. A life better than you could've imagined? So romantic…” The girl saying this tries not to melt into a puddle at his feet.

Cas can only *blush* and nod his head in thanks. 

All of Dean's regrets and worries melt away at the sight of that blush, thinking, someone this perfect wants to marry me, damn, I have nothing to worry about. Can I just chill the fuck out?

“Yeah, I like him too… in fact… What do you ladies think, should I marry him?”

The girls squeal! They congratulate! They hug! They ask for a selfie. They disappear.

Dean pulls Cas out of the elevator and rushes towards the door marked 'spa’ and slams the door behind them. Thank God it's an empty hallway that leads to the check in desk.

“What the hell, Dean? I can't relax and get a fucking massage right now! We need to talk and-”

Dean's lips crash into Cas’ with furious passion. Cas is annoyed by the interruption, by the way Dean can take his breath away no matter what the situation. He breaks away with a huff.

“Tell me what's going on or I'm going upstairs and calling everyone until I know!”

Dean sighs, dragging a hand over his face, “I fucked up, that's what's going on. The plan was... to propose to you tonight, on stage, during the encore.”

Cas’ mouth is agape for far too long before the color returns to his face and he can speak again. “You said was...that was the plan? Or it still is?”

“That's still the plan, Cas. If you want it. I'm just sorry I screwed all this up. It was supposed to be a damn surprise, obviously...”

Cas grins from ear to ear picturing Dean on one knee with the crowd errupting with applause. He can only imagine what could've happened if he'd been blindsided by the extremely public proposal. Knowing it's gonna happen is the only way to make sure I don't pass out, Cas thinks, awash with reflief.

“Why did you ask me in bed? We're what, a few hours away from the show…” Cas knows the answer but he just wants to hear it.

“The way you said you love me... you've turned me into a fucking sap, Angel,” Cas smirks at that and Dean begins to calm, “I've never loved anyone like this, Cas, I don't even know if I did love anyone before you, not really. And I wanna lock this down before you realize how amazing you are and leave me for a real musician, like Bon Jovi or-”

Now Cas’ lips are the ones attacking Dean's, fingers wild in his hair, tongue slipping past those perfect lips. Dean deepens the kiss, pulling Cas flush against him. He never wants to let go.

*AHEM*

Cas lets out a shaky exhale as they break apart. Dean's head begins to turn towards the source of the noise but Cas stops him, hand firm on his jaw, ignoring the two burly masseurs behind them. They can be a few minutes late.

Cas keeps his eyes locked on his very own Barbie Dream Husband. He hopes the look he's giving Dean can show how much this means. “Just ask me tonight, ok? Your fuck up can be our little secret. I meant what I said before, I'd marry you every damn day, and I want to become your fiance, in front of our moms, yeah, but also the band, our fans, they're the reason for all this…”

Dean grins, “Aw, I've turned you into a sap, too.”

….

“Excuse me, ladies, can we get in on this??”

Merely steps after entering the arena, Dean and Cas stop as their moms swarm around a man. A single man, at that, sometimes cranky but also endearing. Dean peels them off.

“Bobby! What are you doing here?” Cas asks the question before he realizes he knows the answer. Dean has more surprises left that he didn't spoil.

“Dean didn't want me to miss your new song debut,” Bobby fibs, pulling Cas in for a hug. “And I'm working. Say hello to your personal security.”

Cas laughs at the absurdity of that, but plays along just the same. “I'm so glad you came just to hear us play the new tune,” Cas tries to dial back the sarcasm but this is all just so silly.

“Wouldn't miss it for the world,” Bobby grins and Cas starts to feel all warm and fuzzy. 

His mom grabs him next, “I'm so proud of you,” she coos, “I've spent so many years trying to manifest the perfect life for you, but it turns out, you've done it yourself.”

Cas kisses Rowena on the top of her little coppery head, “I'm sure all your woowoo had something to do with it too,” he chuckles, then repeats to himself a few times, I deserve this life, I deserve it, I do. 

Mary is the next to hug Cas, Dean shakes his head and pulls them all into the dressing room. Now there are more people wanting to hug them, Crowley, believe it or not, Sarah, their band, Ash's band, even. They are all so, so bad at surprises. Cas smiles at the relief of knowing, otherwise all of this attention would be giving him some serious anxiety.

Sam claps a hand on Cas’ shoulder, the other on Dean's. Do they really not know how obvious they're being? Cas wonders to himself in disbelief as he watches Sam's adams apple bob as his emotions get trapped in his throat. Dean panics for a sec before remembering that Cas already knows what's up, because if he didn't, he definitely would now. Dean sighs, they really suck at keeping shit under wraps.

“Yes, Sam?” Cas is really getting a kick out of this, “Do I like… have cancer or something, you all know and I don't? What's up with all the love, man?”

Everyone in the room hears him and suddenly you can hear a pin drop, feel the silent panic of all of them, trying to come up with an excuse for their over emoting. And Cas is enjoying the hell out of it.

“Well, it's just, I, uh… you know, the song, finally playing it for everyone, a year after you became a part of our lives…”

Sam's eyes well up and now Cas isn't so amused but rather, full of emotion as well. And then Dean's eyes are wet, then Cas, then everyone in the cramped Green room is so overcome with emotion, Dean can think of nothing else to do but drop to one knee.

All the women in the room gasp, little do they know he's already on a roll with screwing up the plan so why not keep going. There could be no more perfect moment than now, anyway.

“Dean!” Sam gives a feeble attempt to stop his brother but he's shooed away.

“It’s okay, Sammy. They’re not completely full of shit, Angel, they're here to hear our song yeah, they know it'll be a huge hit and they wanna say they heard it here first. But also, to see me do this…”

Cas has to put a hand over his mouth, he was not expecting this here, expecting the rings to be. So beautiful. Rings, plural.

“I always thought my life was pretty freakin awesome, but there was always something missing. It kinda felt like a hole in my chest…”

Dean takes one of the matching platinum bands from the box and Cas’ eyes widen.

“You fixed that, Cas, and I never want to spend another day without you so, why not seal the damn deal? It's legal.”

Everyone in the room chuckles softly between their sniffles. There's not a dry eye in the house, and that includes Crowley.

“So, what do you say? Will you marry me? 'Cause I'll stay down here till ya say yes, and that could get awkward…”

Cas shakes his head at himself for being on the verge of blubbering, “Yes!” Practically shoving his hand in Dean's face, “Hell yes!”

Dean slides on the ring and then jumps up to hug Cas. Then everyone in the room has to hug and congratulate them. 

“What's the second ring for?” Cas asks. “Please tell me you're not proposing to Ash too, you know I don't like to share.”

Dean laughs and hands Cas the box before holding his left hand out to him. “Well, I'm engaged too, ya know.”

Cas smirks and slides the ring on Dean's finger. “Feels fucking official.”

Dean shakes his head, “feels good, yeah?”

“Fucking amazing,” Cas agrees, lips locking in Dean's.

“Good,” replied Dean after catching his breath, “Ready to go out there and do it all again?”


End file.
